The Big Bang Theory
by BigGayDistraction
Summary: What if Gail could prove to Holly that she is capable of not running when it matters the most? My thoughts on how they might find their way back to each other when Gail is willing to risk it all to save the woman she loves. As always I own nothing but the mistakes. Comments and reviews very much welcomed and appreciated. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

For Gail accepting that her current situation was completely and totally her fault was new. It's not how she rolled, it's not how she had gotten through Chris's unwillingness to listen to reason when he suspected she betrayed him with Dov, and it's certainly now how she peeled herself up off the asphalt after Nick left her at the alter or again at the curb that night as she stood in the rain watching him drive away. Her current sorry state of affairs was unequivocally her doing, it's taken awhile but she knows that now. The feelings she developed for Holly revealed themselves in a rapid fire string of events that left her in a panicked drunken lovesick fog, more intense than anything she had ever experience for another person. She went into self-preservation mode that night at the Penny with boobjob spewing all the triggers that sent Gail into a dangerous game of fight or flight with herself. In the end she believed Lisa's harsh words over Holly's unconditional kindness and love; thinking she would never be good enough Gail ran. It all came apart so little by little, she ignored Holly's calls, her texts and kept thinking that maybe the next day would be the day she would feel ready to respond. Those "next days" have all but disappeared because Holly is seeing someone else. The words sting with the same bitter slap of intensity each time Gail replays them in her head, which is all too often.

Gail was due to start her shift in an hour; she remained unable to move from her bed as thoughts of Holly were the first thing on her mind when she woke each morning and the last images in her head when sleep finally managed to arrive. She missed so many things about Holly but remembering the way she looked at Gail, the way she gave her that devilish grin as she would lean down to take the blonde's lips into her own for the most amazing kisses Gail has ever known, that is what she misses. She misses feeling so incredibly safe and loved. Forcing herself out of the warm cocoon she slowly makes her way to the shower letting the cold water jar her awake unable to procrastinate the start of her day any longer. No time for coffee, she rushes to make it to the station on time.

Sitting in parade she felt a millions miles away, there had to be something she could do, even if Holly was seeing someone it couldn't be a "someone, someone" yet could it? No, it's just a "someone" and if it's just a "someone" then there is no way that Holly could already be falli… "PECK, is there somewhere else you would rather be right now?" Gail's head whips around front and center at the sound of Oliver's voice. "Yes, sir!" as the room erupts in laughter Gail leans back in her chair, brows furrowed as she feels her face turning red, her inside voice mutters what a fanfuckingtastic start to this already awful day.

Her punishment is to ride with Chole because Oliver apparently seems to think that her nauseatingly happy, incessant chatter will somehow keep Gail awake but he is wrong. "Listen Price, I want to get through this shift with the bare minimum of your spoken word as possible, got it?" Chloe looks over, smiles and shakes her head. "Good girl, now let's stop and get some coffee before I fall asleep."

Without thinking Chloe turns right on Beckett and takes them to the diner right by the morgue the one that Gail and Holly spent a lot of time at between their quick lunches, milkshake breaks and long late night conversations. Conversations that would lead the way for Gail to fall in love with the woman who now takes up residency in her head and heart. It was mid morning and there didn't seem to be many people around so Gail thought what the heck, it will take 5 minutes and we are already here. "I'll run in, what do you want?" as the bubbly brunette was thinking if it was a hot chocolate morning or not, a call came through from dispatch. "All available units in the area of 1236 Beckett Avenue we have a 10-100 that was just called in from inside the building ETF is in route eta is approximately 8 minutes out, please stand down to assist ." Gail looks straight ahead at the coffee shop door, swallowing hard as her eyes focused on the numbers 1236. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts and surroundings Gail braces herself on the hood of the squad car at what she sees.

"Fuck, Chloe we have to go in there right now!" The other officer does not understand the urgency here. "Gail you heard the order, stand down and wait for ETF to arrive, we have no idea what is happening in there, it's a bomb threat, Gail!" Unphased by the other officers words. "Chloe if you want to stay here you don't need me to write you a permission slip but do you see that blue Prius parked on the side of the building?" Looking over, "Yeah, so?" Gail looks at Chole like she is about to punch her or throw up or both. "Chloe, that's Holly's car."

There was no decision to be made, oh she was going in alright and there was no way anyone was stopping her, certainly not Mary fucking Poppins Price. Calling behind her in route to the front of the building "Listen Chloe, I am sorry. I take full responsibility for what I am about to do, but Holly is in there and I am not waiting!"

"Dammit, Gail!" Chloe thinks for a split second of following her, she has only been back a few days on patrol as she runs her fingers over the scar from the bullet in her neck and then it's too late as she watches Gail disappear into the building. She has no choice but to radio dispatch and tell them the situation.

Gail swaggers into the diner like she has not a care in the world except caffeine. As soon as both feet are inside a man looks up from the counter with a startled look on his face. "Sorry, we are closed officer, um there is a gas leak in, uh in the basement, and we are waiting for the crew to arrive." Gail could see the whirling dervish of lies he was spinning, she just smiled and let him continue. "We could get you a coffee or soda to go if you want, on the house of course." Gail took another step closer breathing deeply. "Eww, yeah I totally smell the gas. Hey, I am happy to wait for the crew to arrive and make sure everything is okay, shouldn't you be waiting outside? I am not sure it's safe in here."

It happened in a flash, the butt end of the gun across Gail's temple coming from the man behind her as he angrily questioned why the door was not locked, and that is the last thing she remembered until now, until waking up in the foggy aftermath not sure where she was or exactly what had happened. She thought at first she was dreaming, but then her eyes focused on her hand, and then the hand that was intertwined with hers. "Oh, Gail thank god you're awake." Struggling to gather her bearings, Gail didn't even need to look; she knew that voice all too well. "Holly, are you okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

The scene outside the diner is full tilt chaos police officers, detectives, and forensics have saturated the area and most importantly the Emergency Task Force team is standing by at the ready if and when the time comes to make a play to enter the building.

Oliver arrives heading straight for Swarak who is talking with Jack Hayden, the director of field operations for ETF, "What the hell happened Sam, and how did Peck end up in the middle of this, specific orders were given dammit"

"Holly was inside, Oliver. According to Chloe there was no thought only action, Gail went inside before she had any idea what she was walking into."

Rubbing his temple Oliver asked the question he really would rather not know, "Jack, and what exactly did she walk into here?"

Stepping forward he brings a picture up on his phone handing it to Oliver, "This is a Ramon Salazar operation; he is the current leader of the Cuban Nationalist, a group that has been off the grid since the 80's when they attempted to blow up the Cuban consulate in Montreal. They have reformed and we have been watching them for a few months; they have had lots of money being piped into their efforts since Ramon took over who is the great grandson of former leader Luis Zayas but we have been unable to nail down their current operation front until now. Dr. Stewart is no accident in this situation; she is due to testify against Salazar's right hand man in two days it's a case that will likely put him away for life. They set this whole thing up just to eliminate her and send a very clear message."

Oliver's wheels spin with questions, questions he knows probably have no answers at the moment but he starts with the simplest one first. "Who called in the info about the bomb?"

Jack grabs the transcripts from the hood of his car, "A very scared female, but it was not Holly, we traced the number and it's a phone belonging to a hospital worker at St. Micheal's named Lauren Elder she was probably on her way to work when she stopped here. The 911 tapes reveal a very short dialogue with the woman who seemed to be in a hiding place, she spoke of someone walking around with a gun and someone else with a bomb strapped to their body then several shots are heard on the recording and the call goes dead, these guys are no joke."

Sam grabs Oliver's shoulder "Listen to me, we are going to do everything we can to get her out of there as fast as possible, Peck is street smart and has become a damn good cop, plus she will do everything she can to protect Holly, we both know that. We think they have killed several people in there already, we need to prepare for the potential here Oliver." His face does not wear his worry well, "Sam, I want to be informed and in the loop on every decision made with my officer's life at stake, do I make myself clear?"

Answering in unison, "Yes, sir"

Gail is chained to a steel pole that looks to be a load bearing support beam in what seems to be a basement, bunker or some kind of safe room built at the bottom floor in the building, her head is pounding and she can feel the crusted blood in her hairline. Holly is sitting next to her holding her hand in both of hers, but she is not chained or confined at all. Gail finds this odd but is so confused and groggy everything remains moving in slow motion for her , it's pretty clear she has a mild concussion going on from the chicken shit bastard that pistol whipped her. She looks down and realizes her hands are bound in front of her with her own cuffs, she lets out a tiny "Yay, me."

"Gail honey, look at me." Gail thinks she might be dreaming, did Holly just call me honey?

"Gail, I need you to look at me." Turning her head all she can see is Holly's chocolate drop eyes that make her stomach hurt. She swallows hard and with all her might she musters up a small grin "Hi."

"Hi" Holly touches the side of her face which causes Gail to automatically open her mouth and close her eyes, Holly can't help but laugh. "Gail I am checking to see if your pupils are dilated, I am worried you have a concussion."

Her eyes remain closed as she playfully teases "Oh, I thought you were just making the moves on me now that we are alone."

"Well there never seemed to be confusion before when moves were made, so you must have a concussion, but why don't you let me look to be sure."

Gail's eyes spring open and Holly is thrown off her game by just how beautiful they are, even though she has seen them time and time again they still take her breath away.

The familiar connection leaves them both a bit speechless, yet unspoken words are flying all around them. Gail wants to apologize, tell her the whole story, grab her and tell her she is completely in love with her in case this is her only chance. Her hands are cuffed and before she can say anything Holly begins to speak.

"Your eyes look pretty good, no significant dilation, so that is a good sign. Gail I don't understand how you ended up down here?"

Gail is quiet for a moment thinking of her response to the question of how she got there. How she got to this moment was years of self-loathing and pressure to always be better than all the rest when the truth is that was never obtainable. Her walls have come from building the only safety net she has ever known and running is her only option when the walls show the slightest signs of cracking. She functions as a child in combat boots with a bad attitude and that is how she got here. Oh wait, Holly means "here, here."

"I pulled into the parking lot with Chloe to get a coffee before we started our shift and the call came in for backup at this address, it was a potential bomb threat and we were instructed to wait for ETF to arrive. I looked over and I saw your car and I just came, the thought of you in here, I just couldn't stand the thought of losing you for good." and with that Gail's eyes are wet with regret for what she had done, what she has lost and what she may never be able to fix.

It's the exact look Gail saw from Holly standing in the hallway of the precinct when she brought the thumb back. She didn't know if it was good or if Holly was going to tell her to go to hell, but she knew Holly felt something.

"Oh, Gail what are we doing? This is not what I want, to be apart from each other playing games, ignoring calls and then having you act like you can waltz back in my life like it's nothing more than an afterthought, Officer Casanova reporting to casually asking me out for a drink after weeks of putting me through hell and having you expect that I am going to say yes!"

Gail took it, all of it, gratefully. Those words, the frustration the anger it all meant she cared. She wanted to stop her, to kiss her to breathe in the scent of her hair that she has missed so, so much. She knows she can't, not yet. Holly deserves to be able to let it out, to say the things Gail never gave her a chance to say that night at the Penny when she walked away and didn't look back.

"I want you to know something, I am mad as hell Gail. I am mad because no one is a bigger fan of yours than me. I adore and respect that you are a police officer. That you go out every day and risk it all with very little thought of what might happen with each and every shift you work in an attempt to make the world a better place, it's selfless. I love how you see the world with no filter, and you take all of life's complexities on with no bullshit, what you see is what you get and that takes strength. I think you're brilliant as a matter of fact but you wouldn't know that because you walked away when I needed you to hear me out. You would have heard me say that the only reason I didn't even respond to Lisa and her drunk dissertation on how no one is good enough for me is because all I could think about was being with you, kissing you and continuing to have fun, which for the record, is in fact what we were having. I didn't say that is the only thing we were doing, I just didn't feel the need to tell Lisa that I was falling in love with you before I got the chance to tell you."

The door to the left of them flies opens and a man with the gun walks out, he kicks Gail so hard in the side she can't help but cry out as he glares at Holly smiling. "If you two don't shut up I am going to create some silence with Blondie's gun." He walks over and runs the barrel along Gail's cheekbone. "Fucking stupid dyke cop." He spits on Gail as he walks away, slamming the thick metal door shut as he leaves them.

Gail is silent, she is humiliated. Thinking she is pretty sure he broke her rib as she notes the searing pain each time she tries to breathe, and she has this fucknut's spit dripping down her face and no way to really wipe it off, not her best look. Holly did just say she was falling in love with her, wondering to herself if she means that in the past tense or if she means it more as an active action word.

Holly scoots next to Gail making sure not to lean or touch her in any way that will cause pain, she doesn't even have to wonder, she is sure several of Gail's ribs were broken with the kick of his boot. She gently wipes her face clean with the sleeve of her sweater and lets her look away as the tears fall down her cheeks. She takes Gail's hand in her own as kisses her palm, and closes their hands together.

More than anything Gail wants to say the words but she can't bring herself to look at Holly, she is so ashamed of herself, and feels so beaten down but that is exactly who she is right now and if this thing is going to work, Gail has to be done hiding, and done running.

She turns her damp, tear streaked face toward Holly, she is cracked wide open, nothing left to lose she finally confesses, "I have never been so scared of anything in my life because I have never felt anything like this before. You bounced down the hill at that crime scene and into my world with your forensic jibber jab, weird batting cage love and your amazingly kind heart, how could I ever be the same? You make me a better person Holly and I actually LIKE that person. Do you realize how big that is? Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

As much as Holly wants all of this, as much as she wants Gail she just can't have this conversation right now. "Gail, I need to tell you something." Gail's furrowed brows return, "Holly if you're still seeing the 'someone' who is probably not a 'someone, someone' it's okay, we will figure it out!" Holly stands in front of Gail, reaching down and grabbing the hem of her baggy shirt, which is covered by one of her oversized sweaters she loves so much, "Holly!, we can't do this, not NOW, I have a broken rib or three…" then Gail's heart sinks as she sees the terror in Holly's face pulling up her shirt to revel the square black device that is securely fastened to her waist.

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**Thank you for taking the time to read! Please let me know what you like or don't all comments are welcome and very much appreciated. Enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry about the delay in this chapter. I had two weeks of 65+ hours at work, so thank you so much for your patience and for all the amazing comments; I appreciate them so much, and please keep them coming! Tcole, this chapter is for you.**

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Outside of the café it is a sea of organized chaos, everyone has mobilized and ETF has brought in their top agents including a specialist used to dealing with the worst situations involving suicide bombers. The unmistakable sound above of helicopter blades beating the air into submission. Sam and Oliver have just gotten word that the blueprints of the building, including the renovated basement 2 years ago, are being downloaded as they speak. The hope is to find a way to drop military grade spy cameras into the space and be able to have an accurate account of what is actually happening inside.

On the far left side of the building is where ETF has set up shop, a white surveillance van has been equipped with all the latest technology available to them. The director of field operations leads Oliver and Sam inside where they look at a screen which displays the information they have just been sent, showing them the layout of the space. A young man with well-kept sideburns and small wire rimmed glasses who could not be more than 25 is feverishly typing away, within seconds they are now looking at the layout again but now warm orange outlines have appeared on the screen.

The young man speaks softly but his intensity washes over them, "I have downloaded the blueprints and then dropped in the signal coming from the helicopter which shows us the infrared imaging. Oliver's heart sinks, there is no doubt Gail is bound, they can see the pole she is tied to on the screen and best guess is Holly would be the image they see right next to her. Further away they count four others, in a smaller space approximately 35 feet or so away from the girls.

"The plan Jack, what is the plan?" Jack drains the last of his cold coffee, "As soon as my guys have the best option to drop the cameras without being detected we will execute, which will be phase one. We have to find a way to get our eyes on the bomb device to be able to have any chance of disarming it in time. Speaking of time, we need to know what we are dealing with down there Oliver. Do you think if Peck has not been hurt too badly she would be able to anticipate our moves?"

Oliver does not hesitate. "She will, sir. Gail is one of the best; I would trust her with my life any day of the week and twice on Sunday."

* * *

Gail knows she has to pull herself together, she simply can't fall apart on Holly right now, and she has to think about her first and foremost. She remembers when she and Chris were locked in the warehouse and he had been stabbed, that was no picnic and they got out of there alive so by god I am going to find a way to get the woman I love out of this mess she says to herself.

"Hol, I am going to make you two promises right now. The first one is that when we get out of here you are taking me back to the batting cages because I feel like I didn't really preform to the best of my abilities to be honest, and I would like another chance if you can find it in your heart to give me one. " she is smiling at the doctor and praying that she can see how much Gail loves her in this moment with the words she is about to say, " The second is that no matter what happens here Holly, I will not leave you. "

Holly is looking away with tears running down her cheeks, "Babe, do you understand me? A moment of silence drifts between them. "Holly, you can look at me." Her eyes meet Gail's as she shakes her head yes, eyes locked, hearts wide open. It's more than Holly could ever imagine being possible, there is no doubt for her how much Gail loves her.

"Okay I need you to pull up your shirt again and let me look at the stylish fashion accessory you have picked out for yourself today Dr. Stewart."

"Not funny, babe."

Holly kneels down so Gail can get a good look at what she is seeing. She has had some training and did a ride along with her brother last year when there was a bomb set to go off at a crowded mall parking lot downtown. It all fascinated her, she paid attention and hopes to god she can remember something that is useful as they figure out this giant shit storm they have walked into.

As Gail looks at the device there is a small timer which is actually unusual for a personal explosive device, maybe it's meant to fuck with Holly, but they have to assume it's accurate and working. They have 1 hour and 8 minutes before everything or nothing happens. It seems to be a pretty straightforward set up. She can see the explosives and identifies the detonator. What is puzzling her in the iron like cuff that seems to be in one piece fit pretty snuggly around her waist.

"Holly, how did they get this on you?"

She just looks down at the floor, and is silent.

"Honey, I need you to tell me, okay? Holly it is okay you can tell me. We tell each other stuff right? C'mon that is totally your line."

Gail slowly slips her cuffed hand inside of Holly's and squeezes tight, I am right here.

Holly stands up and grasps at her sweater and dark shirt lifting them up far enough for Gail to see the torn flesh and raw tattered skin from the object having been savagely forced onto her body.

"Then they used some sort of pliers to crimp and twist making impossible for me to get it back up the way it was put on me."

The rage inside Gail is a swirling ocean of hatred, she would kill them one by one given the opportunity but right now she reminds herself to put Holly first.

"Oh, Holly"

She kneels down and buries herself in the crook of Gail's neck, her uniform shirt is immediately damp with Holly's tears and even though it's this evil situation, in this awful space where they each have taken a step toward each other Gail could not feel more empowered to get them the hell out of here.

"Gail, I am so scared."

Gail kisses the warmth of her neck, "Hey, listen to me. I have been in way worse jams than this and I am still here letting the snark fly."

"Oh really? You care to tell me about these way worse jams you have gotten out of officer?"

Gail gives her a smile, "Waaaay worse, I'll tell you later when you buy me a drink…or five."

Gail has no idea if they are being watched or if they can hear what is being said, so from here on out she decides no more talking about anything regarding the situation they are in. She looks at Holly and shifts her eyes around the room then looks up and puts a finger to her lips but acts like she is wiping away something.

They sit in the quiet, holding hands, legs touching. Gail's mind is like a pinball machine, thoughts, ideas, questions flinging around with no place to go. She tells herself to think like Jerry would, he is the best cop she has ever known in situations like this, the guy was stabbed, dying and he still managed to get his cell phone in Perrick's pocket, and in turn saving Gail's life from her would be killer. Dammit think Peck! What are they trying to accomplish upstairs? First point of contact they will have is to see us; cameras are or have probably already dropped down here. She takes a deep breath, and has never been so fucking grateful to know sign language in her life. She laughs out loud as pain rips through her ribcage, turning to look at the door. . "Yeah well fuck you too buddy." She adjusts the cuffs best she can to allow for as much movement as possible, but she does not need much as she begins to start signing everything she can, their surroundings, their injuries and most importantly every detail she can about the bomb attached to Holly.

* * *

The van is in full throttle, intelligence information is being analyzed over and over, pictures, schematics and an influx of details are coming at them with a furry which is when Oliver seemed to have momentarily lost his mind.

"That's MY girl! Peck you are a damn genius! Swarak get over here!"

They had dropped the lines for the cameras about 10 minutes ago after finding a way in that was undetectable. It's as if she was narrating a story over and over the details were flying from her fingertips. More information than they could ever have hoped to get from any other source.

"Oliver WHAT is wrong?" Sam wonders if this has started to crack. Jack makes his way over to the other men, "What the hell is going on, Oliver?"

Pointing at the screen like a proud papa, hopping around a bit unable to contain himself "Peck figured out there is a camera, she is signing us everything she knows, everything she has seen. "

Sam is in awe, "Well by god she is a PECK! Just might be detective material after all."

Jack yells out the order, "Rewind to the point she begins signing to us, I want every word officer Peck communicates to us."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all so much for all the kind comments and reviews. I know some of you want longer chapters and I am trying to do that but I want the breaks to be in the spots that feel right and I am currently pressed for long stretches of time to do my writing. I guess I am kinda slow compared to others so I really appreciate your patience and all of the great encouragement. I welcome all reviews and comments! Again thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.**

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The door flies open in the basement and immediately Gail tightens her grip on Holly's hand. Out walk three men, one from upstairs that offered Gail the coffee to go, and the fucknut who pistol whipped her, but she did not know or recognize the third man who walked purposefully behind the others. He addressed Gail by name.

"Well Officer Peck how are we feeling?"

Gail stared at him with her jaw so tense she thought it might shattered from the hate she had for this man, studying his face she wondering what the consequences would be if a smart ass comment flew from her lips. Would they hurt Holly, would she be subjected to his boots? She could not take the chance, reminding herself again that Holly came first. Holly will always come first from now on.

Her jaw still locked tight, swallowing hard she spits out the lie "I am fine."

Walking around to face Holly directly, "And how are you Dr. Stewart, feeling okay in spite of your current situation?"

"Oh, I am just great, even though I have explosives conveniently strapped to my sacrum with no fucking way of getting them off and you pretty much tore right through my stratum corneum layers, with your lame brain idea to blow up the woman testifying against your murdering goon. Don't think I don't know what this is about."

Gail closes her eyes cringing, Jesus Hol, I could have done that.

"Dr. Stewart, I know you don't understand the magnitude of your testimony to our movement but you soon will. The world will know what it means and they will be made fully aware that we are a force to be reckoned with, not to be minimalized or dismissed. Oh I guarantee no one will be dismissing us again."

Turning to Gail, "Now officer Peck you were a lovely added surprise to this adventure. Imagine how thrilled we are that you have become more of a bargaining tool than Dr. Stewart here. I had no idea the Peck family has such deep rooted history in this city, but it turns out you are very valuable to us which ultimately means killing the doctor is just a bonus at this point."

The man pulls a small object out of his pocket, runs his finger along the button and announces to the women, "It won't be long now, not long at all."

They leave Gail and Holly alone, retreating to whatever is behind the door.

"You're testifying against someone involved in this?"

"Gail, they killed the other people that were in the café, or I assume they are dead. There were shots fired and I have seen no one else since they brought me down here. I didn't understand anything till I heard them mention the defendant I am supposed to testify against by name. It all clicked. His DNA was all over the victims and murder weapon of the shooting spree last month in Etobicoke."

"Hol, I have to tell you that for working on dead people, you have gotten yourself into a giant mess with some pretty bad live ones."

The doctors face has fallen into her hands and she is rubbing her temples, "Us. I have gotten US into a giant mess and I am so sorry Gail."

"Hey, look at me, Holly"

Holly's anxious eyes meet calming blue as she soaks in the stillness of Gail's words.

"This, this whole thing is not random, you know that right? I was meant to be here with you, the universe, it kinda knows we are a team Hol, even if I was too stupid and too scared to see it before. As Oliver would say, 'my job is to keep you safe. This crest on my shoulder, this represents you Holly and we're both going home today, I promise."

Reaching over, running her hand up Gail's neck stopping only when her palm finds its home just below Gail's ear, fingers dancing with the short bits of cropped hair that Holly lovingly cut for her the night she came unraveled in her arms. The night she fell in love with Gail, and all of her rough edges and soft underbelly exposed in the early morning hours. She pulls her mouth to Gail's, hungry to drink in every ounce of her despite the fact that they sit together in a pool of uncertainly spilling all around them.

Hands on the cop's face, eye to eye no questioning, fiercely rooted in the words that free fall from her mouth, "I love you, Gail Peck."

Gail pushes forward to capture Holly's lips in hers, it's a slow motion homecoming, and it's the kind of kiss that will be the one that all others will forever be measured against. It's that once in a lifetime connection and they both know it.

"I love you Hol, so much." As soon as the words escape Gail's mouth they are slapped back into the despair of the moment when they hear heated arguing coming from the confines of the adjacent room.

"We gotta get the fuck out of here Gail."

* * *

Swarak pulls Oliver aside hands him a cup of steaming hot coffee and with furrowed brows announces "She is flying back from her speaking engagement as we speak, eta is about 40 minutes."

Oliver gratefully takes the coffee, breaks open the plastic top to unleash the steaming hot liquid and takes a long drink, feeling the welcome burn seep down his throat. "Then we have exactly 39 minutes to free our girls. I do not feel like dealing with the walking, talking fire breathing tsunami knows as Superintendent Elaine Peck today."

"We are still working on getting Steve out of his undercover operation; he is currently working the trafficking bust in Brampton at the moment. Without Steve to buffer Elaine, it will be a nightmare once she arrives. Good news is that ETF has secured the entry level floor currently in position and waiting for the arrival of a high caliber maritime laser to burn undetectable pinholes through the floor and ceiling of the room the men are in hoping to get a shot at Salazar and crew. It's the only way to have a chance to get in there to try to deactivate the bomb strapped to Holly."

"Hey Oliver, I need you and Sam over here." Jack calls from the surveillance unit that has been set up just inside the perimeter of the crime scene.

Stepping inside the van, they focus on the image of Holly holding up her shirt, skin raw, shredded and crusted with blood exposing the unit secured to her waist. They zoom in and are able to see not only the detailed construction, but the attached timer on the device.

"Jesus, what the hell did they do to her, Jack"

"Oliver, it's a graphene belt, no way to break it without serious effort and specialized equipment, they forced it down Dr. Stewart's body ripping through whatever flesh was in the way and with a specialized tool crimped the sides to make it impossible for anyone to break free. The bomb is attached with titanium fixtures and is impossible to detach without detonating. We have the top authorities in Canada and the US working on this right now. I am not going to lie, it's a long shot and we have 31 minutes to figure it out."

"No." Oliver replies thinking of what Gail must be going through, remembering the evils of the Perrick kidnaping and how it still haunts her today. He simply will not let her die. "We have 30 minutes to figure it out, I am not having Gail's mother walk in on the aftermath of her daughter not getting out of there in one piece."

Jack makes himself very clear, "We can get Officer Peck out; once they are able to gain access points to implement the takedown it's over for Salazar then we can get in there and free Gail. Dr. Stewart's fate is another matter entirely."

* * *

Holly was not prepared to die. She walked into the café to get some tea and a muffin, now she sits next to Gail waiting for the numbers, counting backwards as they grab her by the hand and pull her into the dark decent.

"Hey, I don't know what you're thinking exactly but stop it; we are going to get out of this, together and alive. I have a date at the batting cage tomorrow."

"Ha, well I hope it's in the form of a video game because if you think you are able to swing a bat with broken ribs you're in for a big surprise honey."

"Pff, whatever. Let's face it Holly. The broken ribs might actually be an asset to my swing."

"You're stubborn."

Grinning "I am and all of this stubbornness is all yours."

"Thank god your stubbornness comes with other redeeming factors."

Eyebrows raised, "Oh, really, and what might those be Dr. Stewart, I am all ears?"

The sound was deafening, it shook the ground, thundered through their bodies and left them huddled together, wrapped up as tight as they possibly could get given their awkward positions. The door flew open; Salazar staggered out grasping the gun, wild in his hand like an out of control fire hose with water forcing its way in every direction. Gail pulled Holly into her lap covering her best she could until the quiet settled all around them. Gail was hit, one lone bullet found its way into her chest just below her shoulder on the right side of her body.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Holly tore at Gail's uniform, desperately tugging at buttons, ripping what didn't come apart with ease; the cuffs were making it impossible to get access to her back.

"Really? This is what you're going to do right now?"

"Dammit Gail, I need to see if there is an exit wound." She gently tracks her fingers down the back of Gail's uniform, warm hand on cool skin, as she feels Gail's skin shiver under her touch. "God, that actually feels so good and not in a creepy sexy way, just nice Hol, it feels nice." Gail closes her eyes as her body fights the fatigue of what has happened.

The doctor tilts her head forward resting on Gail's opposite shoulder desperately gulping for air as she feels the thickness of this moment unbearable. "Gail, the bullet didn't come out."

Holly takes her shoe off, peels the sock away from her foot and ties it around Gail's upper arm at tightly as she is able.

"Hey it is okay, we are going to be okay, I am fine."

Coming unraveled the words and tears are unstoppable, "You are not fine. Your head has a giant gash in it, your ribs are broken and you have been shot, Gail! I have a BOMB that has been dug into my body, tearing away at my flesh" Holly is screaming at this point. "Face it, we are going to die and I am kind of freaking out here!"

Eyes heavy, Gail shoots a grin toward Holly and whispers, "well I think we should be very grateful there are no scissors around. You can't have the short hair, flannel and backpacks Holly. Don't hog all the gay, it's rude. Plus I don't recommend cutting your hair without bourbon. "

The door leading upstairs located directly across the room from them slowly opens and Sue steps into their world, "Hi guys, no one is going to die today."


	5. Chapter 5

**Just a note about the entrance of Sue into the story as some folks have commented they do not know who she is in regards to Rookie Blue. The character Sue Tran is a bomb tech specialist with the ETF crew, who first appeared in S2 Ep. 7 to help Dov out of a booby trapped drug house. They began to date but broke up in S3. I loved her character and encourage anyone who has not watched those episodes to check it out! Hope this help with the explanation. Enjoy chapter 5 and as always thank you for taking the time to read and comment! **

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Oliver paces in the parking lot above kicking up gravel and dirt swirling up memories that keep his heart on high alert with each passing moment. He paces like a father waiting in anticipation for the birth of his first born. He has every faith in ETF especially in the bomb squad division but this is his Gail and the special bond they share is understood by all who work with them. This blond haired, steel blue eyes kid came in as a rookie so green she practically walked around the precinct like Kermit the frog. She is a Peck and that in itself tends to be a jagged edged sword which can certainly cut deep both ways in this job. Oliver has watched Gail turn so many corners in the maze of her confusing world over the last several years it makes his head spin thinking about all they have been through together. She makes him laugh hysterically, infuriates him at times, can be stinging with her words and actions but he has never met a more honest, genuine or loyal friend than Gail Peck. His terrifying fear for her life lies bubbling just under the surface as he continues to pace.

* * *

Sue Tran has been in this situation many times before; she is one of the best in the field when it comes to being a specialist with the bomb tech division of ETF. She is the epitome of calm in situations that scream total chaos all around her at deafening tones; she simply does not crack under pressure. What makes this one of the harder situations is that she knows Gail from her time dating Dov Epstein who shared a house with Gail. Seeing the blonde again reminds her of just how lovely Gail can be under her hard tortoise shell exterior, she always enjoyed the snark of Gail Peck especially when it was directed toward her. In some weird way it was deemed a term of affection if Gail gave you shit about anything, and truth be told she kind of missed it. Despite the breakup between her and Dov, she has nothing but respect and kindness for him and those in the world who mean the most to him, and that very much includes Gail.

Slowly gliding toward them as if they are simply meeting up for a chat and drink, "So who started this party and did not invite me until the very end?" Sue throws out nonchalantly as she quickly surveys her surroundings. She feels for a pulse on the man who lies dead on the floor before them and is gone for less than 30 seconds as she disappears into the small secluded room quickly returning to turn her attention to the impending situation.

Gail is fighting with all her might to stay alert, and awake despite the overwhelming desire to simply shut her eyes and sleep. The blonde manages a slight smile, "Hi Sue, I sure hope all those ridiculous flirty, flirty bomb defusing games you played with Dov in the dining room using our television remotes pay off right now."

While they exchange a warm, understanding smile it is clear Gail is not only badly injured but terrified of what is about to happen.

Speaking into the mic attached to her uniform she gives a much anticipated status report to those above. "I have entered the ground floor, area is secure and I have confirmed all four of the suspects are deceased. Officer Peck has sustained severe bodily injuries including a GSW to the right upper chest quadrant and has an open head laceration. Let's send agent Bailey down to get Gail out of here. "

The words echoed in her head like it was a canyon, she is paralyzed with fear. Of all the things tumbling around in her mind, all the "what if's "that played like a movie reel in the back of her mind as she sit helpless next to Holly for the last several hours, she had prepared herself for staying until the end. She won't do it. She won't leave.

Desperately grabbing for Holly with her cuffed and constrained hands she breaks wide open, tears dance to an orchestrated waltz with pleading, violent threatening and finally uncontrollable begging to stay with the woman she loves.

Sue lays her hand on top of the interlocked fingers before her and serenely begins to speak, "Gail, love listen to me; I want you to really listen to what I am saying. I promise you two things, okay? I promise you I will do everything in my power to walk out of her with Holly. If that does not happen, you have my word that I will not leave her. I will stay with her, no matter what happens. Gail, you have to go, there is no choice now we are running out of time, I have work to do."

Gail's eyes glare defeat, she knows she can't win this fight, "But I promised I would stay, I promised I could do it, and be the person who doesn't walk away again."

Holly's heart is breaking watching her come unraveled, raw and vulnerable after being so strong for her this whole time, "Gail, sweetie you are not walking away , not from me and not from us. You don't owe me any kind of solid proof that is labeled a certain thing that demonstrates your commitment to me, to us…honey, you already have proven it. I love you and nothing will change that, now go get patched up and I will see you very soon, oh and tell them the GSW does not have an exit wound, though I suspect it has not hit anything vital they should run a CT of your chest, back and belly just to be sure, make sure they don't forget the belly."

Gail looks up at her with the all too familiar stare that says one thing, "Really?"

"Hey I love you, Dr. Holly Stewart, and don't think I have forgotten about that batting cage date. Do not stand me up!"

Office Bailey bounds into the room with his enormous frame, and within seconds he has Gail free from the cuffs, the pole she has been bound to and has painstakingly managed to get her to her feet. "Can you walk?" Gail feels like a train has repeatedly run over her frontwards and backwards but she is able to mutter, "Yeah, yeah I think so."

As they slowly cross the room Gail stops, "Wait, wait, wait." she peels off the top of her uniform and reaches it out toward Holly. "Give this to her, I can't stay but the crest is on the sleeve it is all I have to give, just so some small part of me can stay with you." The cop can't even bare to look back at Holly as they make their way up the stairs, Gail knows she will never forgive herself if something happens to her plus one forever.

Sue looks at Holly with all the confidence and calm she can muster, "Ready to defuse a bomb with me?"

Shaking her head yes, "Oh, you have no idea."

"Okay, let's get your sweater off and I am actually going to cut around your shirt to give us full access to the device and not have to fuss with the fabric."

Holly nods as Sue uses one of the tools from her utility belt to free the fabric from her body. The sight of the deep visible gashes running up Holly's sides and what she is sure to continues upwards have to be unimaginably painful. "Hey, if I am hurting you at all I want you to tell me okay, I know you are in a lot of pain and I want to be as gentle as possible, this might get a bit uncomfortable."

"I will let you know, thank you for being so great Sue, I am sorry we are meeting like this you seem really nice."

"I am nice and don't listen to anything Gail might tell you, okay." Sue gives Holly a friendly wink as she begins the daunting task at hand.

Speaking into the mic, "Okay guys, we are prepped. Holly and I are going to be walking out of here in less than 10 minutes." She announces as the timing device on the bomb casing reads 10:46 until the bomb will detonate.

"Holly I am going to be explaining to the guys upstairs exactly what I see and what I am doing, I know it's going to be overwhelming but as much as you can I need you to let me work, okay? But if you need something or are uncomfortable just say the word for me and we will figure it out together. I am right here remember that okay, I am not going anywhere. You and Peck however ARE buying me a drink tonight so keep that in mind. Here we go…"

Holly takes a deep breath and braces for whatever is about to happen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a note to say I am neither a bomb tech nor a doctor but I did my best to research the topics to make the story realistic and believable. I thank you in advance for a little latitude that I hope you will grant me. **** Please enjoy this chapter and let me know your thoughts. As always I appreciate your time in reading and commenting! **

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"Okay Holly let's have you lie back for me against the wall so you have some support, one leg straight out in front of you and the other to the side will give me the best access to the device. You ready?"

"Not sure what the right answer might be in this situation." Holly gives Sue a forced smile and breathes out, "Let's just get this over with."

Sue slowly moves into place and begins her work, "I have an exposed timer, looks to be home brewed currently reading 9:12 and an encased detonator but something looks off, I am thinking this is not authentic, looking for a micro switch now." As Sue fiddles with the casing around the device Holly honestly feels like her heart is going to pound right out of her chest. "Dammit, the anti-tamper wire has been tripped and we are now looking at a 3:00 clock pulse. I repeat we are counting down at three minutes."

Sue feels Holly begin to tremble, "Hey now, we are just fine, it's okay Holly. As much as you can I need you to breathe, just breath for me and think about where you want to go for a drink tonight okay?" Holly just looks at her with complete terror and tears forming in her eyes. Sue is again focusing on the task at hand, "I am going to attempt to manually disarm the charge. We are at 2:23, guys."

* * *

Gail was brought out the front door barley able to stand as she clings to Agent Bailey on her way to a waiting stretcher and one slightly perturbed set of crossed arms belonging to her mother Superintendent Elaine Peck. She had arrived on the scene just moments ago blowing into the space like a wild stallion barking orders and throwing her weight around like a giant cannonball. "Gail, I am glad you are safe, I am glad you are alive but what in the hell were you thinking ignoring the order to wait for ETF?" The cop uses the remaining energy she has to stagger just past her mother as she sees Oliver running toward her.

"C'mon, darlin we have to get you to the hospital." as he catches up to Gail guiding her back.

"No fucking way, Oliver. I am not leaving. I am NOT leaving Holly. Not until she is safe and here next to me. Do you hear me?" Quickly deciding to change tactics and tones out of desperation, she is not above begging at this point. "Oliver please don't make me go."

Elaine Peck has heard enough, "Are you insane young lady, I am done with this non-sense. I am not sure what has gotten into you but now you are just embarrassing yourself, not to mention me right now!"

Gail's look shoots daggers at her mother and maybe for the first time in her life, she is not scared. There is nothing her mother can do to her that could possibly be any worse than what she is experiencing at this very moment.

"I am not leaving. I don't care what you think anymore, mom. If I have failed to reach your unobtainable levels of acceptance when it comes to my mediocre life or performance as a police officer then that is just too damn bad. The one thing I am sure of is that I will do everything in my power to never, ever end up like you. The woman I love is fighting for her life right now and you have no idea how to even comprehend that situation because you are only concerned with yourself and the name you hide behind."

Looking over at the medic, then back at Gail, "You love who? Gail, you have been shot, you are clearly not thinking or talking straight." Pointing to the medic, young man sedate her immediately and get her to the hospital that is a direct order."

"Elaine, come on let's not do this, not here okay. Gail has been through a lot today." Oliver finds himself practically begging for a reprieve from Elaine's wrath.

The superintendent takes one deliberate step forward, "With all due respect Staff Sergeant Shaw, I will not have you telling me what I can or can't do when it comes to my daughter. " Looking beyond Oliver to the medic who is holding the syringe, Elaine Peck executes the affirmative nod and Gail suddenly feels the needle plunge into her flesh.

"I will never forgive you for this." She spits as they guide her to the gurney and place the oxygen mask on her face.

* * *

The small droplets of sweat cling for dear life on Sue's top lip. She has 70 seconds to make this happen. She was past the casing, past the decoys and she was face to face with the three choices staring up at her. She would have to make a decision, there was no glaring blue wire to cut, no obvious choice screaming out to her that I am the source of your worst nightmare, cut me. In the end it was a wing and a prayer and Sue's gut guiding the tiny blades that would ultimately decide to snip the second wire.

* * *

Chloe appears asking if she can ride with Gail to the hospital. "She was my partner today, sir. I should have had her back, but I didn't. Please, can you please let me do this?" Oliver knows what this means to Price, he understands and simply nods his head yes. "Go, and you text me every 15 minutes, even if there is no change I want an update. Every 15 minutes Price, got it?" Climbing up into the rig as she shouts behind her, "Yes, sir I got it."

Gail was in and out of consciousness on the ride to the hospital. Everything happened in a slow motion, all she could focus on was the feeling of having Holly's warm hands running down her cool back, she smiles at that thought and tries desperately to hold onto it, but the serine feeling does not last it vanishes into words, the words coming from the non-stop chatter of Chloe's mouth who was sitting next to her in the ambulance. What is it with all the words? Gail Peck is not a word person, she thinks to herself. Even more words but this time they are coming from the medic. "We have Officer Gail Peck 29 year old female, in route with an ETA of approximately 4 minutes. GSW to the upper right chest, no exit wound, possible pneumothorax. She has an open head laceration with possible concussion, multiple broken ribs; heart rate is tacky with a BP of 90/62, we have started a 16 gauge IV cath, be there soon."

Gail can see the upside down kaleidoscope figures dancing off the ceiling tiles and florescent lights as she is rolled down the hallway and into surgery. Suddenly remembering to tell the doctor to check her belly; Holly said to make sure you check my belly. She was speaking but the words were thick and stuck on her tongue, bouncing around in her mouth. Then the tidal wave washed over her and it was still, dark stillness all around her.

Gail woke up very much the way she drifted off; it was dreamlike but in came spurts of clarity only to be yanked away from her as she was pulled back under the foggy tow of her reverie. The first clear thought she had was one of frustration, frustrated that someone would not turn off the beeping alarm that kept ringing in her ear, she tried hopelessly to move toward the sound and turn it off herself.

"Gail, I am here with you, I am right here honey." Suddenly there was the familiar warmth that Gail had been dreaming of, longing for, the warmth it seems she has been waiting her whole life. In the simple act of holding Gail's hand, the love from Holly was unmistakable. The cop forced her eyes open to see the doctor's crooked toothy grin welcoming her back to the fold.

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**I couldn't kill anyone off now could I?! ;-) We *could* wrap it up here, but if there is an interest in having the story continue I am very happy to keep writing and see where this goes. I know there are lots of questions to be answered regarding Holly, Gail's mom and the aftermath of the whole situation and I am up for continuing if you would like to read about where I would take the story. Thank you all so much for the comments, and support with follows and favs, I appreciate it very much! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for all the great responses, suggestions and encouragement. You guys are seriously awesome. As requested I am trying to make the chapters a bit longer. Let me know what you think and what you would like to see going forward. I really appreciate you taking the time to read! **

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Gail drifted in and out most of the day, each time she would find a shred of consciousness, Holly was there before her, calming chocolate drop eyes busting her padlocked doors down and dancing lazily into Gail's heart. Holly's soothing words washed over the cop in waves of tranquility, desire or maybe it was the morphine drip. Either way Gail thought both were a pretty nice gift seeing as how she felt like complete and utter hell.

Finally fully waking from the disoriented depths of a jagged collage of pieced together dreams which made little to no sense at all, eyes finally finding their way out of the nebulous state of nothingness only to realize there was no Holly at her bedside this time. There was however a robust, older nurse perched at the opposite end of her bed scribbling away on an opened chart. "Hey, Florence Nightingale, where is the hot brunette that was here before?"

"Looks like someone is finally awake, your brother ran down to get some coffee and a few others had to leave for their shift but they will be back tonight to check on you. How are you feeling, Gail?"

Gail's brows furrowed and she asked once more, "Okay, I am fine. The woman who was here earlier where is she?"

The nurse appeared by Gail's side switching out an IV bag hanging above like she has done this a million times in her sleep, probably because she has, "Dr. Stewart is in her room on the third floor getting some rest. She was admitted shortly after you, but refused to stay in her room, so Dr. Li finally gave in and let her come sit with you for a while under the condition that afterwards she would go back upstairs and get some rest. I am surprised you remember her being here, you were pretty heavily sedated. Oh and speaking of sedated, there is a self-administering morphine pump next to you, just push this button when you feel like the pain is starting to increase. Yes, it does cap off and is on a timer so don't get too trigger happy."

Thank god! Thank god she did see her and it was not some whack illusion only to find out Holly didn't make it out alive. "Oh, you don't forget Holly, even if you are doped up on drugs; she is kinda unforgettable like that. Is she okay?"

"Dr. Stewart is going to have to give you the details; I can't talk to you about her detailed medical information. I will tell you she was pretty banged up when she arrived. What I can talk to you about is your condition. You had surgery to remove the bullet, your bonus prizes along with the surgery were three broken ribs, a collapsed lung, and they dealt with the open wound on your head. Only a mild concussion so that is good. "

Gail had no idea what happened after she left the scene and the panic crawled up from her belly and left a vile taste in her mouth, "But not bang, banged up, like not missing a leg banged up, right? She is okay?"

"Open", instructs the nurse as she shoves a thermometer into Gail's mouth.

"arwe eww oing eww ell me?"

"Nope." The machine beeped as the nurse removes the instrument from Gail's mouth and jots a note in the chart without saying another word.

Rolling her eyes, the cop is in disbelief she can't even find out if Holly is okay or not, "Wow, just wow. I think you left your bedside manner in the parking lot trash can on the way in this morning."

"Well now I know you're going to be okay if you are giving grief to Betty." Steve breezes in with a fresh coffee in hand as he kisses Gail on the forehead.

"Ew, I am not dying…yet. Give Florence here some time and she might do me in."

"Be nice to Betty, she put up with a crowd of people last night who were very worried about you. She should have kicked us all out but might have bent the rules a bit for us." He winks at the nurse as she crosses to leave.

"I like her spunk, detective. Reminds me of myself when I was a spry thing but she has a lot to learn. Smart mouth is a double edged sword."

Adjusting her position in the bed best she can with all the tubes and wires, Gail shifts her icy eyes and shoots a cranky look toward Betty, "I am right here. Hi!."

"I know dear, get some rest and hit your call button if you need anything." I will check on you soon.

"Say thank you, Gail." Steve mutters taking a sip of coffee.

"Thank you, Florence."

The siblings sit in silence for a moment only the beeps of machines and chatter outside the door permeate their quiet. Gail is watching the slow drip of the medicine that finds its way to her IV and into her veins. She wonders how close Holly came to dying.

"So how much do you know about what happened? I thought you were undercover?"

Steve comes closer dragging a chair alongside of Gail's bed, "I was pulled out from the operation, they didn't know how bad you were hurt and when I got the call they didn't know if you would make it out."

Eyes peering out the window to avoid looking at her brother and feeling like yet again she has ruined another something for someone with her careless actions, "Sorry."

"Listen, Gail. I get it. You had to do what your instincts told you to do. It's what makes you a good cop; it's what makes you one of the best cops at 15."

"Well, mom certainly doesn't think so." Gail fidgets with her hospital ID bracelet which is a pale pink and kind of makes her happy in some weird way.

"Mom is a little too wrapped up in her delusional search for the next rung of the preverbal top to even know what that means anymore. Don't sweat it kiddo, you did an amazing job and saved Holly's life. Mom has her own issues to deal with right now; ETF is not happy she overstepped her grounds and ordered you sedated at the scene. Who knows if anything will happen, but Jack was fired up about it all, not to mention Oliver who pretty much called her a bully to her face. It will all shake out in the end sis, don't worry about it now. She was here to see you last night, sat with you for a bit and said she will check in later."

Gail rolls her eyes, "Mom probably held a fucking press conference when she left the hospital and I am pretty sure that was all Sue, in some weird a nerd saving nerd, Hollywood ending. Steve, in the end we both know I could not have saved Holly."

"From what I heard it was all you, there would have been no Sue if you would not have been able to sign the information, logistics and layout of the area. You know they never would have just started shooting, even with the infra-heat technologies they didn't know who was where. It was you that allowed Sue to even be in a position to enter the scene. Gail, that is huge."

"Well I guess I didn't think of it like that, so yeah it was pretty much all me. Sue just came in and closed the game in the bottom of the 9th. Ohh, you gotta tell Holly I made a baseball joke that made sense. That did make sense right?"

Steve rises, pushing the chair back as he tosses the empty coffee cup in the trash can by the bed. "Get some sleep, sis. Dov and Chris will be by after their shift and I will check on you later."

"Thank you oh wise and very handsome brother of mine."

Stopping in his tracks, "What do you want, Gail?"

"Donuts. Not the Hawaiian ones, I hate those but the ones from the little bakery on Jarvis. Icing filled chocolate ones."

He shoots a toothy smile to his sister on the way out of the room, "Be nice to Betty and I will think about it."

Gail closes her heavy eyes as sleep becomes an immediate necessity muttering "What an ass."

Gail awakes to the sensation of eyes upon her. She feels the warm hand on her hand as she tries to open her heavy eyes, anticipating being able to finally look into Holly's deep brown eyes, the words are spilling off her tongue before she can even stop them, struggling to focus the words tumble out, "I love you" opening her eyes to see … "Price! What the hell?"

"Thank god you're okay, Gail. I am so sorry. You know that right, that I would have had your back, I _should_ have had your back and I know , actually I don't know, I just panicked and I thought of getting shot in the park and it all just happened so fast, you ran into that café so fast…umm, did you just say you loved me? Because I love you too, Gail."

"Oh, my God! Stop talking, Chloe, there are not enough drugs in the world to save me from all your words."

And with that the flood gates open, Chole's in a full-fledged meltdown.

From one hell straight into another, Gail thinks to herself reaching over to press the self-administered morphine button fast and furious as if she were playing Mortal Combat against Dov and Chris in their living room. She is pretty sure it caps out after three pushes but she keeps clicking away at the machine just in case.

Gail immediately feels bad, Chloe is here and she cares and well that has to mean something especially for all the times Gail has been anything but nice to her.

"Hey, Chloe it's okay. I am fine. I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone. It happened and it's over. We are all okay."

Big, bright, tear stained eyes flash open wide, "Gail, I was so scared, mostly of your mom, but I just didn't have your back and you hate me anyway and I would have liked to been able to prove to you that I am a good partner, a good friend. I really wanted to show you I could be a good partner, Gail. You hate it when we ride together."

It is silent in the room, Gail is uncomfortable with all the words and feelings the younger cop just puked up all over her, but Chloe's pain is sitting right there in between them, undeniable. She wears it like she wears every other emotion stitched on her heart for all to see. It drives Gail crazy, mostly because she can't do that and there is a part of her just under her ridged protected surface that wishes she could.

"Listen, I don't hate you Chloe and I know how hard it is when you have been through something traumatic like the park thing, something that makes you question yourself, question everything, sometimes you lose your footing for a second. It doesn't mean you have done anything bad and I don't blame you for anything that happened at the café. Got it?"

Chloe smiles at Gail, and Gail pretends to look around the perkiness coming at her as she hands Chloe a box of Kleenex sitting on the small table pushed up close to her bed, "Got it, Gail. Thank you. Hey do you need anything? I will stop by tomorrow, they said you would be here a few days. "

"Donuts. But not the Hawaiian kind, those are awful. The bakery on Carlton is good, the glazed twists but not the cinnamon ones, oh and cake ones but make sure they having icing, why even bother making the ones without icing. "

"Will do, friend! Donuts it is!" Blowing her nose louder than anything Gail has ever witness, she heads for the door, shooting Gail an all too enthusiastic "see ya later, gator!"

Gail lies in the quiet, she feels exhausted and beaten down. She takes inventory of herself. She knows she looks like hell. Drainage tube coming out of her chest, reaching down she feels the tube of the catheter, she has sticky things on her chest hooked up to a monitor. Reaching up she takes inventory of her head, not stitches but staples. Great, I bet I look like total and complete ass.

"Hey beautiful."

In the doorway, dressed in well-worn hospital robe that has seen better days falling around her, and an IV stand trailing behind is Holly. Stunning in every possible way. Gail looks at her like she has been gone for days, weeks, years of lost time to make up for but right this second Gail can barely manage to breathe.

Gail's heart races as the beeping machine next to her goes wild.

"Is that a malfunctioning heart rate monitor or are you happy to see me?" Holly says with a playful grin.

"Get over here and kiss me."

Slowly making her way to the bed, Holly carefully maneuvers herself just above Gail and slightly leans forward as much as she can, mouths meet in the middle and it feels like home, like lazy rain on a summer day, like the warmest ray of sun in the middle of winter, as if the very best of everything in the world was wrapped up in their two wanting mouths. They break apart as Holly gingerly sits down next to Gail's bed. Eyes have never said so many unspoken words than in this very moment, it's overwhelming, and it is what they thought would be impossible sitting in that basement together terrified; they thought there would be no second chances.

Gail slips her hand inside of Holly's, "Tell me everything."

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**Thank you for reading and I would love to have your thoughts, comments and any suggestions of what direction you might like to see this story head toward! As always I appreciate your time for reading this chapter! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much for the input and comments, please keep them coming! This chapter is a bit of a slowdown, there is much more these two will have to face going forward but I thought a chapter without any major drama might be nice. Enjoy and keep those comments coming, and thank you for reading! x**

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"It turns out life is a well-orchestrated dance whether we know it or not, Oliver.

Thoughtfully chewing on his bite of sandwich before washing it down with fresh squeezed lemonade Oliver takes a chip off Gail's plate, "What makes you say that, darlin?"

"It's been two weeks since Hol and I got home from the hospital. She does not remember much of what happened, can't really talk about it and swears she is okay, but the dreams have started, I am not even sure she knows that yet. "

Another few chips disappear from Gail's plate, "What kind of dreams?"

"Eat your own damn chips Oliver, like the dreams I had after the Perrick thing."

"Oh, those kind of dreams." draining the last of his lemonade Oliver pushes his plate aside. "Gail, you have to talk to her. No one and I mean no one knows what it's like to struggle with those kind of dreams like you, and no one knows Holly like you do. The two of you have come so far, I mean it's good now between you two, right?"

Gail looks away, chin in her palm, a bit of a dreamy smile appearing on her face, "Between us it's so, so good but she is struggling with everything that happened she can't remember and does not want to talk about it. I mean she tries to remember what happened, even the first time I saw her in the hospital Holly tried so hard, but it's stuck somewhere. She only knows what people have told her; even Sue tried to walk her through it. She remembers in her dreams though, I am sure of that, and those dreams are only going to get worse, she is not waking up from them yet, but that will come soon enough. I don't want to push, I want to give her the time she needs but she is going to have to face her demons when it comes to what happened in the basement of that café. I want her to know I am right here and I will wait until she is ready we will face things head on, no running."

Oliver takes the hand in front of him between his and gives it a quick squeeze before letting go, "It's tough, this one is going to stick with you, and everything is going to hurt a little bit more for a while."

Gail thinks about those words, they dance all around her, goose bumps find her skin and the tears appear with no warning as does the reality of what almost happened to Holly. Gail does not allow herself to think about the hard stuff in a way that allows the pain to permeate her walls very often. Holly is that exception, the cop is simply defenseless when it comes to anything involving the woman she has slowly welcomed into her safe haven, the woman she has fallen for, the woman she knows she can no longer live without.

"You know, kiddo I am proud of you. It's been a long hard haul over the past several months and you have not let your Peckness get in the way of moving forward both for yourself and with Holly as well."

Brows furrow as the blonde responds, "Thanks. I think? Hey buy me a donut, don't know if anyone told you but I helped save a WHOLE city from a crazy Cuban mafia maniac. Glory Hole is right down the street then I have to get back to Holly."

Getting up from the table Oliver grabs the blonde's trash, "Really, the WHOLE city, eh? You might deserve a donut or two dozen for that act of brilliant bravery." Tossing their garbage in the bin, "Who in the heck names a donut shop 'Glory Hole'?

" I always tell Dov, that place was named after him, he has quite the glory hole and no need to go any further than his face to find it. Aww, I kinda miss Dov...kinda." As they disappear onto the busy sidewalk.

* * *

Gail is not one hundred percent yet by any stretch, she still has to be cleared by the department shrink and get a final stamp of approval from her doctor but will probably go back to desk duty in another week or so, just meeting Oliver for lunch has worn her out a bit as she drags herself up the stairs to Holly's place, turning the key and opening the door, pausing a moment to bask in the familiar smell of all things Holly.

Finding her favorite forensic pathologist lying on the couch half reading, half snoozing Gail leans over to kiss Holly's cheek, but there is a surprise ambush head tilt and two warm mouths find each other with the sweetest of hellos.

Pulling back only to plant one more quick kiss, "Mmm I missed you. Did you have a nice lunch with Oliver?"

Holly brings her legs up toward her chest as Gail takes a seat in the newly available space on the far end of the couch, patting her lap as a cue for long tan legs to find there resting spot on the blonde's lap.

"I did, we went to his favorite deli down on Queen West, right around from my favorite donut place."

Holly's already shaking her head, "Don't, DON'T say it Gail! I know which one you are talking about; go on with your story, I want to hear about Oliver." Gail stops rubbing the grey socked feet in front of her. "Oh, really? You know the one? I am not sure you do, Hol? Tell me which one you think it is." Gail can hardly contain the giant smile she fights to hold back.

Holly gingerly scoots herself back as Gail leans in toward her. She takes the blonde's hand in hers and brings it up to her lips, "Okay, number one no likes you Gail Peck." As she kisses the outstretched palm before her, "And number two you know that I think it's an awful name for a place that sells anything you put in your mouth, even if there donuts are amazingly good."

Pulling Holly's hand toward her lips, "I guess I am going to have to eat the ones I brought back especially for you." Kissing the soft spot right below her thumb, "It's too bad you'll be missing out, they had just made a batch of your favorite kind." and with that Holly's eyes grow wide and in unison, the two women lustfully echo, "the Nutella Puff donuts"….

Holly pulls Gail to her avoiding their most tender parts still healing, until they find the place they fit together perfectly, "Well you know how much I love those, do you know what else I love?"

"My cooking?"

"You don't cook, you dial." bringing her hungry mouth to Gail's, seeking out her bottom lip which Holly finds with little resistance.

Stopping the kiss with a mischievous smile, "My uniform utility belt you are always saying you like?"

"Lower"

Gail is memorized by this woman, and wonders how is it even possible to feel like the world stops spinning and time comes to a screeching halt each time she speaks, smiles, or gives the slightest notion she might touch you which sends your whole being into a teenage frantic Tilt-A –Whirl frenzy. Their mouths simply fall into a place they feel safest, together in a dance of want, and tongues. If it is possible to say a thousand things in a kiss, this is the language they speak to each other effortlessly.

"Mmm we gotta stop,Hol." Reluctantly pulling herself back and retreating to the far side of the couch. "If we keep that up, I won't be able to stop and I we just might break each other in our current state of affairs and I am not going back to the hospital to spend time with Florence… want a donut?"

"Her name was Betty and you know I do!"

Gail brings the box of donuts to the couch and lifts the lid unleashing the smell of sweet doughy goodness. Holly sits up and readies herself to receive one of these decadent gems, Gail reaches in and grabs one of the perfectly iced glistening donuts that looks like it was on the front cover of a food magazine. Looking at Holly she holds the donut up announcing, "Ma'am, I am going to need you to say the name of the donut place before you can have one."

"Glory Hole Gail, the name of the place is Glory Hole. Glory Hole, Glory Hole, Glory Hole. Now give me the damn donut." Laughing hysterically at this point, Gail gives in and holds the prize up to Holly's mouth where she takes a way too big bite, cheeks puffed out and an orgasmic moan escapes from her sugar coated lips. Barley audible she mumbles, "They are soooo good!"

Gail reaches over to wipe a smudge of icing from Holly's cheek, "I love you." She holds out the remaining donut to Gail as it disappears in one bite from Holly's hand. "Oh, I know. You don't share Gail, especially not donuts." Holly slides her hand along the cops jaw line around her neck and back to the nape where she runs her fingers through short cropped hair pulling her forward till Holly's mouth is right next to the blondes ear, she whispers "I am glad you love me, because I am totally, unequivocally in love with you."

Gail found herself staying at Holly's for days at a time, those days turned into weeks and at this point she was only going back to her shared apartment to make an appearance, gather more things and to tuck a rent check under the corner of the coffee pot knowing it was the one spot where it would not go unnoticed. She will have the talk with Dov and Chris when the time is right but for now she only knows one thing for sure, Holly needs her and she needs Holly.

* * *

**Again thank you for taking the time to read! **


	9. Chapter 9

The deep orange and red leaves tumbled down around them from a crisp fall sky as heavy shoes crunched down on their aftermath forming an autumn colored mosaic path along the secluded spot inside Crothers Woods, they both welcomed a bit of exercise and fresh air in their healing process. Hand in hand, Holly and Gail walked slowly, purposefully a litany of words happening between them without either saying anything at all.

In many ways Gail felt foreign to the world she had stepped into with Holly, the sharing, the kindness and the unconditional love that existed with little effort was something she was not used to nor could she fully comprehend the enormity of it, yet she had never been more thankful for anything in her life. She failed each time she tried to put it into words, it simply existed like each breath that came when air filled her lungs, or the repetitive sunrise that appeared each morning. Loving Holly was like nothing else she had ever known, it felt like home.

Gail was pulled back into the moment with the firm squeeze delivered to her left hand looking over at Holly with brilliant blue eyes, "Hey, what's going on over there in that beautiful head of yours?"

Looking straight ahead the blonde blurts out, "You're like my very own Big Bang Holly."

Holly stopped walking; turning to the blonde with raised eyebrows, "Excuse me?"

Taking a step to close the distance between them, "Well that came out wrong, eh?"

Responding with dancing eyes and wiggly eyebrows, "Depends on what you are hinting at officer."

Gail reaches out with both of her hands grasping onto Holly's open palms, thumbs grazing over her knuckles with the slightest whisper of warmth. "I was looking at one of your sciencey books the other day while you were in the shower, reading about the Big Bang Theory. How at some moment all matter in the universe was contained in a single point, which is considered the beginning of the universe."

Reaching up to brush a stubborn piece of Gail's hair back in place, "Honey, I know what the Big Bang Theory is, you know that right?"

Gail takes a deep breath and begins, "Holly, you are that moment for me. You are the moment that everything came together and in one split second, in one single point everything in my world made sense, the moment I realized I was in love with you has become the beginning of my universe, the beginning of true happiness. "

Holly listened to the words swishing around in her head and heart, she watched as Gail stands before her declaring love in one of the most beautiful ways possible, with words. Words that Gail often struggles to find, or share, words that sometimes seem just out of her grasp but she pulled them down out of the air, the skies, the stars above and it was a stunningly beautiful thing to witness.

The words floated away much like the leaves from the trees they desperately clung to all summer long, no need for more words in the moments that followed. Their mouths fell together in a tender orchestrated symphony of desperation and necessity. Gail tasted the salty wetness on her lips pulling away to see the tears that fell from Holly's eyes.

Foreheads touching, barely breathing out the question in a hush, "Hol, are you okay?"

Nodding with the crooked smile stretched across her face, "No one has ever said anything as beautiful as what you have just said to me Gail. I love you. Please tell me you know how much I love you, how completely and capaciously I adore you."

Looking at Holly with pursed lips and a furrowed brow, Holly is panicked. "What is it?"

"I have no idea what you just said to me at the end of that sentence. English please."

Reaching up to plant a delicate kiss on the blonde's slightly open mouth, Holly traces her finger down the center of her girlfriend's beautiful full lips, "If you can imagine the universe and all the infinite space my love for you is greater, I adore you and my feelings for you are limitless. Better?"

Grabbing Holly's hand as they begin to walk the path again, "Better. I am a simple girl Holly."

"Gail you are a lot of things, a lot of amazing, brilliant and sexy things, simple is just not one of them."

"Yep, and I am all yours, Lunchbox. All of this for the bargain price of buying me lunch."

"What sounds good?"

"You?"

Shaking her head with a laugh, "Well I do not have the daily recommend allowance of calcium or protein you require and you are still healing Officer Peck, so unfortunately… No!"

"Chinese delivery to be eaten in bed?"

As they are walking ahead laughing Holly plants a playful gentle side kick smack in the middle of Gail's bum, "You are insatiable and persistent Peck, I will give you that, always persistent."

"It's part of my charm, Hol."

"Keep telling yourself that, babe." Holly smiles as they swing their hands together finding their way back to the car.

* * *

"Do you want crispy spicy chicken or the ginger beef with garlic noodles?" Holly yells from the kitchen as she is fishing around in a drawer for the take out menu from their favorite Chinese restaurant for the number to dial.

The simple reply comes back from the bedroom immediately "Yes!"

Holly has no earthly idea how that woman eats like she does and still seems to effortlessly have an amazing body. "Egg rolls or soup?" Gail appears in the kitchen with a fresh t-shirt, one that is well worn and tattered from her days at the academy and soft faded blue drawstring scrub pants she stole from Holly's pajama drawer as she circles behind the doctor wrapping needy arms gently around the Doctor's waist, whispering in her ear with a quick kiss just below her ear, "Spring rolls please."

"Mmm , you look good in my scrubs."

"Who knew these suckers were actually comfortable, they look like they would be awful to wear, like walking around in stiff pajamas. Of course what do I know, I wear a polyester blend all damn day."

Pulling her head out of the fridge as Holly is digging out two cold drinks for them to have with lunch, "For the record no one and I mean no one rocks a polyester blend better than you do babe."

"Oh, really? Well I am glad you think so." Grabbing her phone Gail notices she has 3 missed calls from Oliver. "Hmm Oliver has tried to call me three times while we were on our walk. You had your phone with you so I didn't even bother to take mine with me. I wonder what's up."

"Do you want to call him back?"

Plopping down on the couch with the remote in hand, "Nah, I will call back after lunch and check in with him. I should probably call Dov as well; he called yesterday a couple of times."

Holly plops down joining Gail on the couch accepting the invitation of a warm resting place on her chest as the blonde wraps her arm tightly around Holly kissing the top of her forehead.

Holly tilts her head back to give Gail access to a waiting, wanting mouth. It does not take long before Gail's hands trace down the maroon v-neck t-shirt holly is wearing as she lets out an audible moan of approval.

They both jump at the sound of the doorbell.

"Jesus, is that our food already?" Gail scrambles to grab the money from the table behind them as she scurries across the room to open the door.

Waiting on the other side of the door stands a tall, ridged man holding a brown manila envelope in his hand. "I am looking for Officer Gail Peck." Totally confused as to why there is no ginger beef or spring rolls in this guy's hand being shoved toward her right now, "You found her, but how did you get this address?"

"Ms. Peck we were given this address by your roommate after several attempts to locate you at your home address." He pushes the envelope toward her as Gail accepts his offering, "Have a good day Ms. Peck." And with that he is gone.

Gail is left standing in the doorway, holding the envelope not exactly sure of what just happened.

"What the hell Holly?" she moves to sit down next to her on the couch ripping away the corner of rough material as she runs a finger along the edge to break free what is waiting inside. Pulling out the crisp white sheets stapled to blue cardboard stock she stares at the words.

"Oh, no. Holly, this is from the Canadian Department of Justice…"

Gail reads as Holly watches her face turn from confusion to sheer panic and ultimately with a tight clenched jaw her eyes meet Holly's, "My mother is being investigated for Neglect of Duty and Abuse of Authority, and it's all because of me."

"I don't understand Gail, what are you talking about?"

Licking her cracked lips that have gone completely dry Gail continues, "When I came out of the café that day, I was in shock, I didn't want to leave the scene, I didn't want to leave you, and I was quite adamant about it. I pretty much refused to leave. I begged Oliver to let me stay until you were safe. I might have told my mom I was not going anywhere until the woman I loved was safe."

"Oh Gail, I am so sorry."

The anger begins to boil to the surface, "She was out of line, Holly. Way out of line! "

Scooting a bit closer, "I still don't understand what happened that would make this an offense worthy of a judicial disciplinary hearing and bringing a subpoena down on you."

Gail was quiet for a moment as she thought back to replay the scene in her mind's eye, finally she looks up at Holly and calmly as she can begins to speak "She ordered the paramedic to sedate me at the scene."

Holly whips around with fire in her normally jubilant chocolate drop eyes, "Your mother did WHAT? Gail that is putting your life in danger as you were not fully examined and they didn't even really know the extent of your injuries or what care you were going to need! Administering a sedative could interfere with procedures they may have needed to do at the hospital. Jesus, Gail!"

Gail turns to face Holly on the couch, sliding her hand up to rest on the bend in Holly's knee, just for some small bit of solid ground as she tells Holly what she deserves to hear, "Well there is that, but I think the bigger issue for ETF and Jack Hayden is that if they needed me to answer questions regarding your rescue or the operation as a whole, I was not available to provide information which ultimately could have led to casualties. It could have led to Sue not making it, and it could have led to your death Holly." Gail's pale completion has turned an ashy tone of disgust for speaking those words out loud.

"Holly I have to testify against the Superintendent of Police, I have to testify against my mother. I think I am going to be sick"

The door bell rings as the smell of garlic noodles begins to permeate from the hallway.

Gail heads toward the door for a second time muttering to herself, "Those fortunes better be fucking fantastic in the cookies, god knows we are going to need them…."

* * *

**Now back to some Mama Peck drama! Know this; even if it gets rocky my goal is to have Gail and Holly work through the bumps together. If you have a moment please let me know what you like or don't and any thoughts going forward. I am really enjoying writing and I hope you have enjoyed reading so far. Thank you so much for taking time to read, follow, like and of course comment! Keep'em coming! **


	10. Chapter 10

The evenings turned to darkness and that darkness would seep into Holly's dreams, grabbing her by the ankles and pulling her back downward to the basement of the café where she relived the horrors over and over behind tightly closed eyes, fighting with all her might to resurface gasping for air.

It started a week or so after they had gotten home from the hospital. Holly begged Gail not to leave one night, she didn't really say why other than she didn't want to be alone. Gail didn't really want to be without Holly so of course she happily stayed and basked in the nights they would lie together in bed laughing, talking and letting their bodies' give and take as much as they could stand of each other in their current conditions. Gail knew Holly was having dreams, she would find her thrashing about, soaked in sweat but never remembering anything concrete once she would wake. One night Gail's eyes flew open to the sound of Holly screaming her name from the bathroom, leaping from the bed to get to her as quickly as possible she found Holly in the bathtub, having pulled the pale green shower curtain off the rings and wrapping it around herself tightly. She would not leave the tub, Gail didn't know what else to do so she brought bedding to Holly and they both squeezed into the tiny space huddled together huddled together away from all the demons that lurked beyond the safety of their porcelain hideaway.

Gail woke to the glorious smell of coffee brewing, she went to sit up from the tub and could feel the tightness in her back and neck like a vise grip refusing to let go. Gail pulled herself out of the tub, stretched and splashed cold water on her face before traipsing down the stairs to the kitchen.

She found Holly at the counter as Gail slid her arms around the back of Holly's waist pulling her into the blonde's chest as she planted a soft kiss on the side of her girlfriend's neck. "Mm, Hi."

Holly turned as she took a deep breath slowly releasing it into the space between them; she bent down slightly to kiss Gail with just enough momentum that the cops top lip lingered between Holly's before she released it. "Hi, back."

Grabbing two coffee mugs from the counter Holly turns to pour the steaming succulent liquid from the pot. Holly sets a cup on the counter next to the cream and sugar, "These are new beans that I ordered from Singapore, who knows Tim Horton's still might be better." Gail takes a sip from her mug, "No, it's really good Hol, like that might be the best coffee I have ever had!" Holly smiles, "Good, I was hoping you would like it."

They sit in silence drinking, avoiding, and sidestepping the topic they desperately need to talk about. Gail finally breaks the lull, "I think we should talk about what happened last night. Would that be okay?"

"Gail, I am so sorry. I am not sure how that happened, kind of silly really. I don't know about you, my tailbone is killing me!" as she rises making her way to the fridge taking inventory of breakfast ingredients. "Do you want pancakes? I don't have chocolate chips but I could do blueberry, I think I have some frozen ones." Gail appears beside her, "Holly stop. We have to talk about this, we can't ignore it." Holly drops the egg carton she is holding and finds her hands to her face; the tears are already in route down her cheeks as Gail wraps her arms tightly around Holly, "Hey, I got you. I am right here; it's going to be okay." Holly turns around and flings her arms around Gail's neck, buries her face in the crook of the blonde's neck and lets it all go. She cried until the t-shirt Gail is wearing is soaked on both sides of her shoulders, until all the fear, panic, and anger that has fought its way to the tippy top layer finds its release in Gail's arms.

Finally looking down ,"We are standing in egg, honey."

Kissing Holly's forehead Gail informs her, "I have stood in much worse, Hol. Much, much worse, and I would stand anywhere with you. You know that right?" Gail wipes a tear that has escaped down to Holly's chin. Sheepishly Holly replies, "I do."

"C'mon let's sit for a minute I want to tell you something."

They grab their mugs setting them down on the coffee table and move to the couch, Holly begins to sit, then stops herself and remains standing, with hands flailing, "Gail, if this is too much I understand. I can't ask you to follow me to the bathtub at night when I freak out and God knows what else I will do, I just don't even know; it's not fair to ask you…" Cutting her off, "Stop it!" Gail guides her to the couch and sits next to her turning so they are facing each other. "Holly, I almost lost you once because I am an idiot and then again a second time because someone else was an idiot. I am not losing you again. So I don't care if you drag me to the front lawn in my underwear to sleep every night for the rest of my life, I am not leaving, and I am not giving up. I want to tell you something that I just don't talk about very often. I think it might help, and even if it doesn't, it will let you know you're not alone. You are never alone Hol."

Gail stops and works up a moment of courage to continue. "There was a case that I worked a few years ago; it was an undercover operation involving a guy who was preying on young women. We set up a sting in a hotel bar and I was the bait and we got the guy." Stopping to gather her thoughts, she feels her heart's rhythm add an extra beat, and she is well aware of the breath she is fighting hard to keep even and controlled. "Except he was not the right guy, he was not the guy who was taking these girls. I thought it was over, and I was staying with Andy so I headed back to her place. I had texted Nick earlier a few times and wanted him to come over. When I heard the knock at the door, I opened it, fully expecting Nick's mug on the other side." The sweat beaded around Gail's lower back and she felt clammy and a bit nauseous as she remembered the cold draft from under that door. "I opened the door and in a split second it slammed into my head knocking me backward. I tried to fight, I mean I fought, but he was strong and had a mask on covering his face. Too strong, he picked me up like it was nothing, but I struggled and fought and then I got away crawling across the floor but he grabbed me by my feet and pulled me back like I was just a child. I tasted my own blood mixed with the leather of his gloves as he covered my face then I felt the needle plunge into my skin." Gail pauses to look at Holly who is transfixed on the words coming from her girlfriend, she has never seen this side of Gail, never realized the amazing depth of the stories she has lived to tell. She has never loved her more than in this very moment cloaked in the pain that lies draped all around her. Holly does not say a word and in stillness waits for Gail to continue.

Gail sips her coffee and calmly places it back on the table before them. "I don't remember much after that except for his shoes, wingtips. I was tied up in his basement. He was a doctor, well he had his license revoked, shocking, I know. He stitched my head up and had me hooked up to an IV administering sedation and god knows what else." Gail pauses as the tears pool in her eyes. She can see his face, his smile and damn him, she smiles herself when she lets herself remember his laugh. "Then I heard Jerry's voice upstairs. Jerry, um Detective Barber who was Traci's fiancée, he had somehow found the house and was there. I just remember being dragged up the stairs and I saw Jerry bleeding, he had been stabbed, there was so much blood but he managed to attack Perik, who was the guy that had kidnapped me. Somehow during their struggle Jerry slipped his phone into Perik's pocket. I was bound and put in the trunk of Perik's cab but because Jerry thought to do that with the phone, they found me." Then Gail stopped speaking and Holly let her. Sharing the silence until Gail became able to speak again, until she was able to say the hardest words of the whole entire story. "Jerry died. He died saving me."

The found each other without effort and stayed that way on the couch for a long time. They stayed that way until the need to move appeared. Gail was exhausted, but she knew she had to tie it all together for Holly. In the end she did not tell the story for herself, but rather to brutally expose herself as someone who understood all too well the darkness that chases Holly.

"I had the dreams, Hol. I had them for a while. I thought they would win, but in the end they didn't because they are not real. I will sit with you, and we will deconstruct them together, whatever it takes, however long it takes. You are not alone, you know that right?"

Holly traces Gail's hand with her fingers, brings her strong, wise hand up to her face, kisses the palm of the woman she loves and then allows her cheek rest against it. "I do now."

* * *

**There will be different challenges for both Gail and Holly as we move though the chapters, but they will deal with them together, and work things out. This is a NOT a "I am like a cat in a tree" fic, we had enough of that torment in the show. Please let me know what you like, what you don't and your thoughts. Of course thank you so much for reading, and commenting. You guys are pretty awesome! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for your patience with this chapter! Also Thank you so much for the comments, please keep them coming and let me know what you think. :-) **

* * *

Gail was sitting in the waiting room of her therapist's office, not so much to talk about herself though, she had been a few times already and still needs to be cleared for duty before she can go back to work, but more importantly Gail wants to talk about Holly. The days were long, the nights longer. Holly would not leave the house unless Gail was with her. Technically Holly's job is safe, they told her to take the time she needed and not to come back until she was ready. The classic signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder linger with them daily, the night terrors, the anxiety and worst of all the gaps in her memory of what happened in that basement. The ghosts that taunt Holly with flashes of solid ground, but never letting her find the stillness long enough to really remember what happened. It's heartbreaking to watch, and if there was a time Gail needs Holly to find the strength to move forward it would be now as she begins to watch and participate in her mother's criminal trial.

The office door opens and Gail is called back for her session. The room is warm, soft lighting and a few candles lit around the space. The incense burns on the far end of the room which Gail hopes does not give her a raging headache this time. She sinks into the soft support of the fluffy couch, hoping to God she does not fall asleep, she is running on fumes and so much coffee, she no longer bothers to clean her cup, a new low, even for her standards. Sarah arrives in the space and sits down in the maroon overstuffed chair opposite Gail.

"How are things, Gail?"

Gail is silent for a moment, thinking to herself how honest she needs to be here. Who is she kidding, there is no threshold, and things are pretty damn bad.

"They are complete shit."

"Ok, Can you elaborate a bit?"

"It's Holly. I am really worried about her, the night terrors are worse, she still can't place much of the timeline during the bomb incident and now she avoids going outside unless I am with her. She is pretty adamant against going to talk to someone right now. I keep asking though, but she is so stubborn!"

Sarah simply looks at Gail, saying nothing.

"I know alright, I know I am stubborn too but this is awful to watch. She is self-destructing right in front of me." Gail is silent for a long moment before continuing. "It's heartbreaking to watch someone you love go through this and not be able to help." The irony is not lost on Gail.

The silence lingers this time, and Sarah finally speaks, "Gail this is not about you. It's about Holly, even if it's hard on you and let's be clear, it totally sucks. Holly is currently sick and suffering, you have to try and encourage her to get treatment."

"She won't I have asked."

"Would she go _with _you, if we found someone who could see you together and then she might be more willing to find someone to see on her own?"

'We could go together?"

"You both shared the experience, and you are currently in a relationship correct?"

No words, Gail simply nods in agreement.

"Let's see how a conversation with Holly goes if you invite her to go with you to talk through things, no pressure just a one visit commitment to try it out. If it's helpful you can certainly explain that this is something you would like to do, which in no way is a false statement. I have someone in mind who I think would be a great fit."

"Well don't book the appointment yet, I am not sure she will go for it."

"I will wait to hear from you Gail. I want to spend the rest of our time talking about you."

Drawing her legs up to her chest on the couch, chin resting on her knees, "What about me?"

"You tell me."

"I feel overwhelmed; I have to testify against my mother in court soon. You know my mother how would you feel."

"She is not my mother, Gail. How do you feel?"

"Then you might want to say a giant fucking THANK YOU to the universe for that small gift. All my life I live in the shadow of what it means to have this name draped around me like some fucking cloak of greatness only to realize that there is nothing great about it. She was never concerned with what I wanted, only with how my life would reflect on her. You should have seen her face at the scene of the bomb threat, when I got out of there and I said that the woman I loved was still inside and I refused, no I begged, BEGGED not to leave. Then she decided to throw her weight around like the ball and chain it is and order the EMT to sedate me."

Sarah hands Gail a box of tissues as the tears of rage drip down her face.

"You did well. I know it's not easy for you to express sometimes in words, you did great."

Blue watery eyes look away, "Yeah, that felt… good? Is that the right word?"

"Well there is no wrong word, Gail. We have talked about this before, this room its safe for everything there is no right or wrong, and I know that is almost unheard of in your line of work, but here it is very true. I will continue to remind you of that as we continue on, okay."

Gail looks at the clock on the wall, tosses the pillow back against the couch, and shoves her damp tissue in her pocket. "See you next time, Sarah."

"Thank you, Gail. I will see you soon."

* * *

On the way home Gail found herself starring at the Penny's front door, sitting in the parking lot like she was waiting for the all clear sign at a stakeout. She wanted to barge in, she wanted to get completely hammered and forget about her mother, about the night terrors, the trial, but she didn't' move a muscle because she wanted to be with Holly more. Instead she turned up the radio pulling out of the gravel lot turning the car toward the place that feels more like home than anyplace else she has ever known.

Gail found Holly in the kitchen making gnocchi by hand with fresh leeks swimming in brown butter and garlic, the house smelled amazing.

"I am starving!" Gail yelled as she dropped her things on the chair by the front door.

"I thought you might be, so I decided to make something that did not come from a frozen box or the delivery guy at the Chinese place."

Gail heads straight for the doctor, "Hey, come here", meeting in the middle of the kitchen island the kiss was soft and slow. Gail is suddenly so glad she made the decision to come to Holly's instead of stopping at the Penny. The kisses they share are by far more intoxicating than any tequila shots at the Penny.

"How did your meeting go?"

Uncorking the bottle of red wine Holly has set out on the countertop Gail is slow to answer, "It was fine; I think it really helps me sort things out when I can talk about it a bit."

Touching her shoulder as Holly passes through the space they are sharing, "Good. I am so glad honey."

Gail pours the wine watching intently as the red liquid coats the glass, "Would you want to go with me?"

"Go where?"

"To talk…with someone, about what happened to us."

Holly sits down on the bar stool in front of her still holding the two plates she went to retrieve. "I don't know, Gail. I don't think I am ready."

"I think it might help us to talk about it, about how we feel not only about what happened in the café, but about us, as a couple, how we can make sure…we are good."

Wide eyed, "You don't' think that we are good?" The panic is palatable as the water on the stove boils over, Gail turns down the flame, and slips behind Holly.

"Hey, hey, we are good." kissing the top of her head, "…really good, Hol. I just think we could both find something useful in chatting together with someone who might help us with some of the stuff that has happened."

Holly rubs the bridge of her nose with the bottom of her palm; the headache seeps in almost immediately at the thought of talking about what happened, trying to remember what happened.

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course you can."

Gail takes Holly by the hand and pulls her gently up out of the chair, "Do you know what is not optional though?"

"What?"

"Kissing me"

They stood in the kitchen with the smells swirling around them, the water boiling over and nothing mattered except they were together, there for each other figuring it all out the only way they knew how.

* * *

Oliver Shaw was waiting for Gail in his office along with Jack Hayden, director of field operations for ETF and the lead attorney for the division Mathew Young. There was no doubt this was uncharted territory as never before had a superintendent been brought up on charges of this magnitude. Jack Hayden has a particular vengeance for Elaine Peck, who refuses to respect anyone's authority but her own, in his mind this time she went too far and he would lead the charge to bring her down for it.

Gail was dressed in a tailored suit, black with an ice blue blouse underneath, her short blonde hair styled and edgy, walking in the room with confidence and authority though inside Gail knew both were simply an act of self-preservation.

Jack Hayden stood, "Gail, thank you so much for joining us today. We just wanted to get together and discuss what will happen in court next week. You look well!"

"Thank you sir, I am feeling better each day."

"I am very glad to hear it. You handled the situation at the café with amazing fortitude, and a resolve few officers have, officer."

"I appreciate the kind words, I am grateful for my training from the very best in the division.", eyes moving directly to Oliver.

"This trial is not going to be without issues, it is going to be fought hard from both sides with vigor, and regarding our view on your mother, we simply want justice, not revenge, and not a malice laced witch hunt, simply justice. Your mother broke the code of ethics she promised to uphold at all costs, she broke that code and that is what this is all about. I want you to understand that Gail."

Gail felt the eyes in the room upon her, as beads of sweat began to roll down the small of her back, "I understand sir, and I will honor the court, this division and do my very best to assist in the case."

"That means a lot Gail, and I do understand the very delicate nature of this situation and we will respect the relationship with your mother as much as possible. The fact that the abuse of power was related directly to you is most unfortunate for everyone involved. Mathew did you want to say a few words?"

Mathew Young was known for his uncompromising ability to deconstruct the most hardcore of witnesses, he would use their own words against them in such a pointed poignant way there was little hope to avoid a full piercing straight to the heart by this guy.

"I just want to remind you that the information we are discussing is privileged information, it is not to leave this room, not to be discussed with anyone. Not colleagues, not friends, lovers, or your favorite 2nd grade teacher, no one. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir, absolutely."

"It's a three part charge, interfering with operations of a terrorist nature, neglect of duty and abuse of power. Your mother violated protocol at several points that day. Along with ordering that the sedation medication be given to you at the scene, she authorized the diversion of a private plan using it for the sole purpose of flying herself to the crime scene that she was not briefed on nor was she cleared to be a part of, therefor jeopardizing our efforts to secure a peaceful resolution in a situation that had the potential for many casualties."

"What about my Dad?"

"As you know he is currently in New Zealand but will return for the trial. He was not involved directly, but that does not mean he will not be called to testify."

"My brother?"

"Same situation, basically. Steve was undercover, any testimony he might be called to give would not be directly related to the incidence of the bomb situation."

"I See."

"We will meet on Friday morning to begin going over your specific testimony with the team."

"The team?"

"You will be meeting with the prosecution team of lawyers they will go over everything with you in detail. You will be put under a microscope Gail, nothing is off limits, you will need to be prepared and it's our job to make sure that happens. Do you have any other questions for us right now? "

"Um, no. I am good."

"We will be in touch about Friday, and remember what we talked about; there is not an option to discuss this with anyone outside of this room Officer Peck."

Gail simply nods as she exits the room. Her feet move but she feels stagnant, the stale air is sucked into her lungs but she feels herself gasping for breath. This is not what she expected.

In one of the city's most upscale Martini clubs Elaine Peck meets with her lawyer, the imminence drifts around them like the dirty stench of cigars permeating the space. The superintendent drains the rest of her twenty year old scotch from the snifter, looking away from the impeccably dressed man across from her, "I will not allow this to be the cancer of my career, just as I will not allow my daughter to think she can tarnish the Peck family name with her experimental schoolgirl crush. I want Dr. Stewart out of this picture, now how that is accomplished will be up to you."


	12. Chapter 12

Gail was hopeful, which is something she had not felt in quite a while, if ever, when it came to her personal life. Past experiences had taught her she was somehow unable and unworthy of finding love with someone who could handle all of her. The sum of her parts were often a challenge and she knew it. The abrasive sandpaper walls she relied on for self-preservation which held most people back from seeing her soft vulnerable underbelly not often experienced by those in her world, not even her closest of friends was dismantled when Holly Stewart came into her life and nothing has stayed the same since.

It happened quietly over the next several days; Gail did not push, nudge, suggest or pester Holly to go and see a therapist but one morning as they lie tangled on the couch Holly sought out the blue eyes she trusted most and with lips pursed, a simple nod of her head in affirmation, she simple said, "I think it's time I go talk to someone."

Gail untangles herself from her girlfriend, pushes up off the couch to stand completely before leaning back down to place a soft kiss Holly's forehead, "I support whatever you decide, babe. I am right here if you want me to go with you."

Holly grabs Gail's hand and laces her fingers through the officer's, "I think maybe I will start out on my own and then once I have done some work on myself then we can see someone together, how do you feel about that scenario?"

"I think it sounds great, and we can play it by ear and shift things around if you are not comfortable. You are my main concern Holly; I want you to get what you need from the therapist and from me. We are in this together, I don't want you to forget that, you are not alone."

When Holly looks at Gail she sees a different person, she feels love in a way she never had before that day in the café together. It's all she ever wanted, honesty and communication with the woman she had fallen in love with all those months ago.

"Kiss me."

Gail found herself back on the couch, lips frolic and tongues fight for possession of each other, it's a full throttle desperation to prove without words how deep the thread of their fabric is woven into each other, how strong the solid ground they create together can be.

Gail grabs Holly's face looking at her for a long moment before she traces a finger down the bridge of her nose and over her perfect lips, "I love you."

Holly gets lost in the blue skies spread out before her, "I feel your love for me each day, in each thoughtful thing you have done and continue to do for me. I adore you Gail and I am completely, unequivocally in love with you."

They spent the rest of the afternoon in a lazy, groggy fog, trying to forget the pain of what happened in the basement of that café, even if the details stayed hidden, tucked away out of sight for Holly. Embracing the healing with every tender kiss, every moment of fingers gently tracing skin, pounding heartbeats and breathless ends they discover together. This thing they have found it's the moon and the stars, the fire and rain. The warmth of sunshine on river washed rocks and dew on the tender new grass of early spring. It lives without judgment or expectation and at this point it's effortless and mimics a well-made rocking chair you have spent a lifetime with in movement until the realizations comes that you have grown old and wise, better together than you could ever be apart.

* * *

Gail bounded down the stairs as Holly was pouring coffee for them both, looking over she is always amazed at how stunning the cop looks in her dress uniform. Handing her a steaming cup of the rich dark freshly brewed liquid, "Honey, are you sure you don't want me to go with you today?"

"It means a lot to me that you are willing to come but I am not testifying today, I just want to be there for the start of the trial, plus you are seeing Dr. Jackson today and that is important Hol."

Reaching out to touch the blonde's arm, "I am going to be thinking of you, and if you need anything or change your mind you will let me know right?"

"Of course I will." Gail kisses Holly pulling back only to return for another kiss before heading out the door. "See you tonight!"

The courthouse is a sea of news cameras, reporters and people as they mingle about in the chaos. Gail feels the bile rise in her belly at the sheer sight of the scene playing out before her. Just as she thought about getting back in her car she felt a hand on her shoulder, "Hey darlin, how ya holding up?"

"What if I said to you I would pay your whole bar tab for a week if we just sneak out to the Penny and start drinking now?"

Dragging Gail forward as they begin to move toward the circus, "Peck you could not afford my exquisite tastes in high end draft beers for a week, plus this is going to be fine. It will be over before we know it, I promise."

The blonde's brows furrow as she shoots the other officer a disgusted look, "For the record I think you are full of shit Oliver, this is going to be a slow agonizing death, much like being crushed by an elephant in the room, oh wait that was my whole childhood."

As they approached the stairs leading into the building someone shouts, "Hey it's her daughter, over there, the blonde." Oliver's grip tightened on Gail as he pulled the cop closer to him doing his best to protect the reporters from her wrath.

"Ms. Peck is it true your mother stopped any interest in your career after you were kidnaped by Ross Perik and Detective Jerry Barber died needlessly saving you?"

Gail's head spun around almost knocking her over, she opened her mouth to launch the arsenal of words that burned poker red hot on the tip of her tongue to be spat out like fire and brimstone at this numbnut reporter. She felt the rage bubble up to the surface as if she were a pot of boiling water until she blinked and miraculously found herself inside the courthouse, safe from the masses, from the words, the questions and they reality that this was going to her worst nightmare come to life.

* * *

Holly looked ahead at the door in front of her, the wooden name plate read "Dr. Andrea Jackson Ph.D" she slowly grasp the door knob thinking about the fact that all she had to do was take one step backward and head toward her car.

"Are you still contemplating that you would rather go for a coffee with a good book and just tell people you kept the appointment with Dr. Jackson?"

Holly whips around to find an impeccably dressed man, with a warm inviting smile.

"Umm, Hi?"

The man extends his well-manicured hand, "Hi I am Christopher, just here to pick up my sister. You looked like you were debating going in or not."

"Ah, yes. I just wanted to take a breath before going in, I am sorry to hold you up."

Opening the door for Holly, "No problem at all, Dr. Jackson is amazing I don't think you will be disappointed in her. My sister's life has been forever changed by working with Dr. Jackson, she is brilliant."

"Wow, well that is quite the recommendation; I guess I would be a fool not to see her." Holly flashes a crooked grin his way.

The door opens and a thin woman steps from the inner room, the sadness seeps from her though she forces a smile at the sight of her brother, she almost looks scared but Holly tells herself she does not know their story so she should not judge anyone else considering her current struggles and state of affairs.

"Have a good day." the man tosses toward Holly as he leaves with his sister.

Dr. Jackson appears in the doorway. She is a robust woman with striking features, and a calming voice, which Holly is grateful for at that moment.

"Holly? Hi, c'mon back, let's get you all settled in. I am so glad you are here to see me."

It was nine hours at the courthouse before things began to wind down. It was grueling, dog eat dog as the lawyers said it would be. The lawyers went at each other relentlessly one side making Elaine Peck out to be the Mother Theresa of the Toronto Police force and the other side making her sound like she was the devil's spawn dressed in Prada and a well-tailored women's suit. Gail dreaded everything that would happen in the upcoming weeks, all she wanted was to get home to Holly, bury her face and fear into the soft comfort of Holly's body. Curl up and forget every single word that permeated her being today, listening to so many lies, fabrications and half-truths was exhausting. Oliver had asked her if they could go to the Penny for a drink, and she felt like she could not turn him down after he had been so good to her today. He was the one person at the station who made Gail feel like she was not being judged, ridiculed and most of all Oliver made the blonde feel safe in a sea of things that terrified her. Gail quickly typed out a short message to Holly letting her know she would be home soon and that everything went fine, she was just stopping for a drink with Oliver before she headed home.

Gail never heard back from Holly which was weird for the doctor. It was not like her to ignore a text with no response; Gail decided to leave the Penny after just one drink as promised to head back to the Holly's house. She tried to call one more time on the way home, it went straight to voice mail. Gail told herself it was fine, there was nothing to worry about and when she got to Holly's there would be some silly reason as to why she had not heard back from her girlfriend.

She used the key Holly had given to her soon after they first met to let herself in as she always did unlocking the front door and steeping into a dark hallway. Gail flipped on the overhead light and called Holly's name. Continuing on she flipped the light on in the kitchen when she saw the note on the counter, "Thank God" Gail said out loud in relief as she picked up the mint green lined paper, reading the following;

_Dear Gail, _

_I have gone to spend some by myself, I need to be alone in order to fully heal, and I am asking that you respect my decision. Please take your things with you as I am not sure when I will return. I am sorry; I just can't be what you need me to be for you. I hope someday you can understand. Take good care of yourself. _

_Holly_

Gail ripped through the house, looking for foul play, looking for answers, praying to find Holly. She found nothing except open drawers in the master bedroom and a closet with one small suitcase pulled out and the larger one clearly missing. Gail thought she might pass out, she found it hard to stay upright, running to the upstairs bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time as she felt the vile taste of the tequila she has ingested just a short time before make its way back up her throat. She splashed cold water on her face, desperate to find some small bit of solid ground. What the hell had happened? She was left completely raw and felt gutted like a fish with its insides pulled out and tossed aside.

"What the fuuuuuccccck is going on!" She screamed before smashing a coffee cup against the wall. Backing herself up to the cool tile of the kitchen she slid down pulling her legs up tight into her chest shaking uncontrollably. Within hours Gail's whole world had fallen apart, just as she found herself needing the one person who was now gone to help her hold it all together.

* * *

**_Thank you all so much for being patient on this chapter. I love all the comments, suggestions and thoughts, please keep them coming! xx_**


	13. Chapter 13

The rain started as a light soothing rhythm when Gail was on her way from the Penny to Holly's place, anticipating seeing her girlfriend's sweet face, finding solace in her never-ending open arms, but that was before the floor dropped out from under her as she now ran from the house with a half zipped duffel bag with a few of her things shoved in, haphazardly slung over her shoulder as the rain pounded down on her. Heavy as the downpour was it simply could not wash away the heartache of her tears fast enough.

Half out of her mind, desperate for answers, stopping at nothing to figure out where the woman she loves has gone, Gail speeds down the road she knows all too well, every curve of the road, the old maple tree in Mrs. Fischer's front yard that she broke her arm climbing on when she was 8 and thought the cardboard wings she had made with her brother would in fact help her fly. Pounding on the door with such force she is not sure if bones are snapping in half with each savagely violent thud she delivers. Finally after several minuets the heavy ornate wooden door flies open and she is faced with the pungent disdain of her mother staring back at her.

"Where the fuck is Holly?" Gail wipes the rain from her bloodshot eyes; voice is just shy of full throttle screaming.

Elaine grabs Gail's jacket and pulls her into the house, "Get in here before the whole neighborhood is subjected to the latest woeful chaos of Gail Peck."

"I am not leaving until you tell me what the hell you did."

Elaine walks to the formal living room pouring herself a tumbler of scotch, smiling at Gail before taking a long, slow sip, "You know dear, if you want to stay your room is always at the ready for you."

Gail takes two steps toward her mother, raising her index finger, "If you have anything to do with her leaving, I will personally make sure you are taken down in court so hard you will never be able to redeem yourself, you will lose your job, your title, and the phony persona you want everyone to believe is true. I will not stop until you are nothing but a laughing stock in this city. Whatever it takes, I will do it. That my dear mother is the promise I am making to you."

Elaine plants a quick kiss on the finger that has been held up in her direction, "Oh honey, I am so sorry. You couldn't keep this one either, could you? Well you might be able to crawl back to Nick if he will take you back for a third time. If not I am happy to keep trying to set you up on those blind dates, maybe we just didn't find the right match for you."

Gail feels the hatred rip through her body and without apology or consequence she picks up the glass sitting on the table between them, throwing the booze directly in her mother's face. "You are a fucking pathetic disgrace to humanity. I am ashamed to be your daughter. I know you are involved with Holly leaving and I will find her."

The slam of the door echoes throughout the house, as Gail reaches the front door she runs smack into a man standing on the porch, muttering a string of profanities she pushes past him as she runs back to her car, spinning wheels squeal as she pulls out of her families driveway.

"It was actually much easier than I thought it would be. Dr. Stewart seems to love your daughter very much; she didn't even really push back when Andrea suggested that Gail would have no chance of getting herself through the trial without being torn to shreds if her mother had their relationship to throw in the spotlight for a distraction during the trial. Andrea told her it would break Gail and she would end up resenting Holly and in the end if they were to ever be together is could only come after being apart and figuring out their ghosts separately. Holly is still so fucked up from that bomb ordeal she ran like a lost little kid home to pack and left Gail a note telling her bye bye."

"Jesus, did you break into Dr. Stewart's house?"

"The door was open, well after I fiddled with it, so I let myself in Elaine. You did say there could be no mistakes on this job right? I waited till the doctor was gone, no one saw me, I promise."

"Let's hope. Do you know where she is?"

Pouring himself a drink, "Do you think this is my first rodeo? Of course I know where she is!"

"Well?"

Swirling the caramel liquid around in the glass before tilting it upward finishing it with one slow sip, "There are some things I need to do for protection Elaine, and this is one of them. When I get the rest of my money then you will get the details of where exactly little miss sunshine has gone."

"I highly suggest you do not screw me over, might I remind you the consequences for us both are extremely high. No mistakes. I am exhausted, you can see yourself out, I will be in touch.", and with that she disappears upstairs.

* * *

Holly slowly unpacked her bag, placing things neatly in the bathroom. Folding her clothes and placing them in the drawers of the dresser and hanging the few items that would get too wrinkled in drawers. She curled up like a small child on the bed in front of her, the tears begun and they did not stop, she thought of Gail and her heart strained at the pain she knew the cop was in having left her so suddenly. It was best even the well credited psychiatrist thought so. Holly would only cause Gail more pain, she did not feel like herself and she could not ask anyone to deal with the absurdity that had become her life any longer. She would be better off away for now, maybe forever; the spinning room came to stop as sleep finally arrived for the doctor, she drifted off into the nightmares that were her reality.

* * *

"Darlin you have got to calm down, I mean it." Oliver is standing in his bathrobe in the middle of the night.

"Oliver, I am telling you they took her, or they demanded she go somewhere. She is gone, like missing! Please, you have to help me." Gail runs her fingers through her hair and sits on the worn leather sofa as her head finds hands and she begins to weep.

"Okay, okay, let's think about this together." Oliver sits next to her on the couch, without looking at him Gail moves to her left forcing herself into his arms and she lets go, she cries harder than she ever thought possible, she is sobbing, her voice choking but words are nowhere to be found, she is simply exhausted in her grief. Oliver rubs her back gently and kisses the top of her head, she really has been like a big kid to him for many years now and their bond is tight though she rarely lets him in like this. "It's going to be okay kiddo; I promise you we will figure it all out." She shakes her head in agreement head buried in his shoulder holding on tight to the only thing she seems to have left right now. They sit like this for several minutes and Oliver feels Gail finally relax and her breathing returns to normal.

"How about I make you up a bed on the couch, you sleep and in the morning with a refreshed mind we will pick this apart and figure out where to go."

Gail finally looks up at him with her big blue eyes, defeated and terrified, "Oliver, do you believe me when I tell you that she did not just leave on her own without someone else's influence or threat?"

Oliver looks at her for a long moment, he thinks back to the scene at the bombing, about his own feeling and dealings with Elaine Peck, tand hen he thinks of the way Holly looked at Gail so many times since they have been together and his answer is an honest one, "I do, Gail. I think something is up and I will help you figure it out. I promise."

She flings her arms around him, "Thank you for not thinking I am crazy Oliver!"

Leaving to gather her bedding, "Oh I still think you're crazy Peck."

Gail smiles to herself never more grateful to feel like someone was on her side.

* * *

She enters the office and hangs her coat on the iron rack in the corner of the outer office. Knowing what she is doing will probably not afford her any answers but she will feel better about it knowing she tried.

"Gail?"

"Yep, that's me."

'Come on in."

Dr. Jackson holds the door open for Gail and she goes inside to sit on the couch in the office. The couch Holly must have sat on, she runs her hands along the fabric wondering what the hell this woman said to her that day.

"So Gail what would you like to talk about?"

The cops eyes fly upward and she feels the words stuck in her throat, "Um, I am having a hard time."

"Go on."

"Well, my girlfriend left two days ago and she was fine in the morning and came to see you, then I got home and she left, gone. I was wondering what you said to her."

Uncrossing her legs and sitting up straight in her chair the doctor begins, "Gail, you know I can't talk about another patient with you, even if she is your friend."

Gail leans forward, "She is my girlfriend, the love of my life so you can understand that I am a little concerned that I came home and she was nowhere to be found."

Her jaw tightens as she looks Gail straight in the eyes, "Did she leave a note?"

Gail matches her intensity, "You know she did."

The slightest of smiles spreads over the doctor's face, "Well, what did it say?"

Gail swallows hard, "That she needed to be alone right now and that she hoped I would respect that and someday I would understand." The words hurt more saying them a loud than reading them the other night.

"Listen to me Gail; I will say to you that no matter what you think or how you feel the bottom line is that you have to go by what you know. What you know is that Holly has left, the note is very clear in regards to what she wants everything else in regards to a wishful interpretation on your part is simply you being unable to deal with the reality of the situation."

The evil laugh that seeps from the cop's mouth takes Gail herself by surprise, "You are unbelievable. I will find out what happened and you will lose your license to practice so I would start practicing now on asking if people want to super size their orders or not because that is about the only place that will hire you after I expose what a deviant crook you are."

"I think it's best if you leave now Gail." The doctor rises as she heads toward the door.

"Ha! As if I would stay a minute longer to hear more of your quackass lies." Gail does not even bother to slam the door on her way out. As soon as she is in the parking lot she realizes she left her jacket in the waiting room, "Damn" turning herself around as she heads back to Jackson's office.

She stops to take a breath before entering and the door opens as a man walks out, she steps past him to retrieve her coat. On her way out she pounds out a text to Oliver that she is on her way to the station, then she tries one more time to call Holly, her heart breaks all over again as it goes directly to voice mail.

* * *

**Thank you for all the great comments! Please keep them coming, and thank you so much for reading! x**


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